


Creation

by Angie91



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: M/M, Mpreg
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-01-20
Updated: 2014-02-17
Packaged: 2018-01-09 09:38:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 23,033
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1144430
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Angie91/pseuds/Angie91
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jim Kirk and Spock are dating when Jim finds out he is pregnant. After a four-month health scare, Jim and Spock learn how to be in a relationship with each other.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This fanfic is essentially a compilation of one-shots in the same universe. The one-shots jump around in time. 
> 
> Star Trek belongs to Gene Roddenberry and Paramount.

After his shift, Kirk quickly made his way back to his quarters. He stripped off his command shirt along with the rest of his uniform. Kirk went into the fresher and stepped into the shower. He turned the hot water on and moaned in relief when the water hit his tight muscles. Kirk closed his eyes and tilted his head forward so that his neck bore the brunt of the water’s onslaught. After the shower, he quickly dried off and put on a white cotton t-shirt and gray sweatpants. Kirk laid down in his bed, reveling in its softness and comfort. He closed his eyes and let himself forget about his long day. He brought a hand up to his swollen belly and thought about his baby. Kirk wondered if it would have Spock’s slanted eyebrows and pointed ears. God he hoped so. He also wondered if the baby would inherit Spock’s love of science and music or his own love of literature and basketball. Kirk smiled softly to himself and pictured his son or daughter shooting hoops with him in the morning and playing Spock’s lyre under Spock’s guidance at night. He drifted off to sleep with a smile on his lips.

Kirk started to wake up when he felt light touches. He cracked an eyelid open and was able to make out somebody lightly kissing his rounded abdomen. Kirk opened both eyes and watched Spock nuzzle his face against his soft, velvety skin with reverence. Looked like Spock was finished working on his latest experiment in the labs.

“Hi there,” Kirk said, voice rough with sleep.

Spock sat up and met Kirk’s eyes with his own. Kirk’s stomach flipped when the soft chocolate gaze looked at him warmly. Kirk pushed himself up to be face-to-face with his mate. He held Spock’s face in his hands and softly kissed his bow-shaped lips. Spock released a moan from his throat and responded to the kiss. Spock’s hands gripped Kirk’s wide hips and pulled his body closer to his own. Spock whimpered when Kirk’s distended stomach met his. Kirk smiled against Spock’s lips. Kirk knew that Spock loved his changing body as it accommodated the growth of their unborn child.

In one fluid motion, Spock pushed Kirk onto his back and placed himself above Kirk. The two men gazed at each other in meaningful silence before Spock broke the spell.

“Are you fatigued?” Spock asked with a furrowed brow. Spock’s face was otherwise completely neutral, but Kirk knew Spock was concerned. It hadn’t been an easy pregnancy. Almost chronic morning sickness early in the pregnancy made it impossible for Kirk to keep anything down, and it was unknown whether Kirk would survive the stress his body was in. Kirk recovered, but fatigue and low energy, however, continued to plague the captain.

“Yes, but right now I would prefer it if we continued what we started,” Kirk said suggestively. He wiggled his eyebrows up and down for added effect.

It had been too long since he and Spock had sex, and he had it denying Spock and himself the intimacy that they needed. He flashed his signature and very effective Kirk smile and knew that Spock couldn’t resist him now.

Spock first slowly divested Kirk of his clothing. Spock kissed and grazed newly exposed skin with his lips, teeth, and tongue. Kirk moaned as each touch added to the fire that burned deep within his belly. Spock removed Kirk’s regulation boxers and admired his mate’s naked body as if it was a table of food waiting to be devoured.

Kirk, however, was getting impatient. He grabbed the hem of Spock’s shirts and quickly pulled them both over his head. When Kirk saw Spock’s head he couldn’t help but laugh. Spock’s normally pristine hair now stood on end thanks to static electricity. Spock looked at Kirk with a touch of exasperation before he covered Kirk’s lips with his own. Kirk continued to laugh in the kiss, but Spock eagerly swallowed down Kirk’s happiness and amusement. There was nothing better than a contented mate.

Spock broke the kiss to shed the last pieces of clothing before reattaching himself to his husband. He buried his face in Kirk’s neck and inhaled deeply, basking in Kirk’s scent before he lightly bit the soft skin. Kirk felt his toes curl and pleasure shoot through his full cock. He felt Spock’s answering erection graze his thigh. Kirk brought a hand up to Spock’s hair and lightly pulled his head back and brought Spock’s lips back on his own. The kisses became more passionate and demanding. Spock pressed Kirk further into the mattress and Kirk arched his back to feel more of Spock’s skin against his. Their erections brushed against each other.  Spock moaned against Kirk’s mouth and shivered in arousal. He couldn’t help but thrust against Kirk’s cock and belly, wanting to feel that friction. Kirk absolutely loved it when Spock allowed himself to let loose and express the pleasure he felt. Kirk felt pride knowing that only he was allowed see Spock like this.

Spock pulled away from Kirk’s red, swollen lips to kiss his way down Kirk’s body, which was humming in bliss. Spock took one of Kirk’s nipples into the wet heat of his mouth and swirled his tongue around the hardened nub. Moans and whimpers fell from Kirk’s lips, music to Spock’s ears. Kirk stroked Spock’s silky, jet black hair, messing it up further but Spock was too occupied to care. The Vulcan gave the same treatment to the other nipple before continuing south. Spock lovingly caressed the skin of his mate’s pregnant belly, reveling at its healthy size and feeling his unborn offspring move within. It was uncertain whether the pregnancy would progress further than the first trimester. There was also the chance that the pregnancy would need to be terminated to save Kirk, who was dangerously dependent on modern medicine to keep his body hydrated and nourished. Fortunately, they decided to wait before taking any drastic measures. Kirk’s health greatly improved fourth months into the pregnancy and the pregnancy progressed normally from that point forward.

Now at seven months, both the baby and Kirk were perfectly healthy, much to everyone’s relief. Spock could feel their child move within his mate’s almost perfectly round abdomen. Kirk reveled in Spock’s gentle and loving touches. He loved feeling his husband’s strong hands on his swollen belly. He felt both safe and vulnerable at the same time underneath Spock.

Kirk loved the attention his sensitive belly was getting, but he was getting impatient. They hadn’t had sex in a while, and he was definitely planning to get some, especially since he was definitely in the mood for it. Besides, Spock already touched his belly constantly whenever they were in private. Kirk wrapped his legs around Spock’s waist and thrust his ass against him, hoping to send the message across.

Spock raised his eyes to meet Kirk’s and raised an amused eyebrow, which Kirk responded with a sheepish smirk. Spock wordlessly unwrapped Kirk’s legs from his torso, bent them at the knee, and placed the bottom of his feet on the bed. He reached for the lube from the bedside table and uncapped the bottle. Spock generously coated his first finger with lubricant, capped the bottle, and set it aside for later use. He found Kirk’s opening and slowly opened the tight ring of muscle. Kirk let out a few hisses of pain. Spock apologized to his mate by soothingly stroking his leg with his free hand. Kirk focused on Spock’s touch and breathed deeply through his nose. He closed his eyes and forced himself to relax from head to toe. Kirk felt himself loosen and open to allow Spock’s finger further enter his body.

“We definitely need to do this more often,” Kirk sighed, getting impatient. They used to have sex often enough that Spock didn’t need to prepare him before entering.

“Not if the risks outweigh the benefits,” replied Spock calmly, as if he were on the bridge and not with a finger partially up Kirk’s ass.

Spock crooked his finger at an angle, and was greeted by a deep moan of appreciation from Kirk. Spock himself released a few moans himself. His sensitive finger was embraced by Kirk’s tight heat. Spock added a second finger to further open his mate’s body while making sure to graze against Kirk’s prostate, much to Kirk’s delight. Once Kirk was deemed sufficiently prepared, Spock coated his erect member with lubricant and positioned himself at Kirks opening. Spock’s eyes met Kirk’s in askance. Kirk nodded hurriedly, just wanting Spock to be inside him.  

Spock pushed into Kirk while gripping his mate’s hips, which caused both of them to moan appreciatively. Once Spock was sheathed to the hilt, he loomed over Kirk and placed both hands on either side of Kirk’s head. They were face to face. Their pupils were blown wide open with arousal. Kirk brought a hand up to Spock’s face and smoothed a thumb over a cheek bone. Spock closed his eyes as his head leaned into Kirk’s hand for more contact. Kirk then brought a finger to one of Spock’s ears and traced its alien shape. Spock bent his neck downward to nibble lightly on one of Kirk’s ears. Kirk stroked Spock’s back and occasionally ran his fingers through his thick, soft hair.

“You can move, you know,” Kirk said with a smile.

Spock responded with a small smile of his own before he thrust into Kirk. Kirk’s back arched in ecstasy as he was filled completely by his husband. Spock’s cock grazed Kirk’s prostate, which caused Kirk to release a string of obscenities from parted, swollen lips. Spock continued to powerfully thrust into Kirk’s pliant body. Spock, however, only gave Kirk as much as Kirk would enjoy. Never more. Spock knew that Kirk had tolerated much more from previous lovers, but tolerating was not the same as enjoying. Through their skin contact, Spock could sense that his mate was thoroughly savoring their current activities.

Kirk clenched his muscles and moved his hips to meet Spock’s thrusts. Spock threw his head back, exposing his milky neck and throat and clenched his eyes shut. Kirk couldn’t help but lick and bite at his vulnerable skin. The Vulcan released a shiver as pleasure coursed through his body and a deep moan escaped his throat. Kirk bathed in his husband’s pleasure, which was pouring off him in waves. Combined with his own bliss, Kirk was at the precipice. His cock, trapped between his and Spock’s bellies, was achingly hard. He desperately wanted to cum, and now. Spock, he knew, had incredible stamina and could keep thrusting into Kirk several more minutes without stopping, but Kirk couldn’t wait that long.

“Please, let me…I need -” Kirk breathed, his words caught off by a soft moan.

Spock could easily have let Kirk suffer more, bringing him closer and closer to release without letting him orgasm until much later. Kirk had done exactly that to Spock multiple times, unraveling him at the seams until Spock was just a whimpering bundle of nerves completely at Kirk’s mercy. The thought of having Kirk beg him shamelessly was extremely seductive and arousing, but Spock had decided against being cruel, especially when Kirk desperately wanted and needed this.

Spock reached between his and Kirk’s bodies and wrapped a hand around his cock without his thrusts losing their steady rhythm. Kirk hissed when Spock touched the overly-sensitive skin of his penis. Spock used the drop of pre-cum at the tip of Kirk’s member to lubricate and facilitate Spock’s strokes. Kirk growled and pulled Spock down for a kiss full of teeth and tongue. Spock answered with his own growl as he sped up his thrusts and strokes. The pool of heat in their bellies grew. Kirk choked out a sob when it became too much. He arched his back, desperate to feel more of Spock’s skin against his. Their shared pleasure continued to escalate until both men felt white hot pleasure from their bellies radiate to their entire bodies. Spock filled Kirk with his seed while Kirk painted his own round belly.

The aftershocks of the shared orgasm left the two men shaking. Spock couldn’t help but rest his upper body on Kirk’s to recover. Kirk accepted Spock into his arms and caressed the length of his back. He kissed what he could of Spock’s head, which was resting against his shoulder.

“I will have to give you a commendation for that performance, Mr. Spock,” sighed Kirk. His sated, boneless body sank into the bed.

“I do not believe bringing a superior officer to orgasm is part of my duties, Captain,” Spock said softly as he nuzzled against Kirk’s neck while kissing the soft skin.

“I will write to Starfleet Headquarters demanding the duties of first officer be updated,” Kirk said in an almost serious tone.

“You will do no such thing.” Spock wrapped his arm around his husband tightly to prevent him from moving and sending ill-advised messages to the admiralty. “However,” Spock continued, “it is a part of a husband’s duties to bring his mate to orgasm.”

“Fuck yeah it is,” Kirk laughed.

The pair rested in each other’s arms a few more moments before they got up to take a shared shower. After they washed themselves, Kirk couldn’t help but marvel at Spock’s body underneath the spray of warm water. Spock’s face was raised, facing the water with eyes closed. As a member desert species, he placed high value on value and was taught to conserve it as much as possible. However, when water was abundant as it was on the _Enterprise_ , Spock tended to indulge. Kirk remembered having especially steamy showers and baths with Spock. Fuck, no wonder he was pregnant. Kirk’s eyes traveled from Spock’s peaceful face down his strong yet elegant neck, which flared out to broad shoulders and powerful arms. Kirk shivered with remnants of arousal at the sight of Spock’s sensual body. His cock twitched interestedly between his legs, but Kirk no longer had the energy for another round.

Spock slowly opened his dark eyes and turned his head to face Kirk. Kirk’s stomach flipped as it often did when Spock looked at him. Spock neared him and backed him up against the wall. His arms raised to place his hands on either side of Kirk’s head, caging him in. Spock leaned his head down to rest his forehead against Kirk’s. They closed their eyes and enjoyed this tranquil, quiet intimacy they were sharing.

Kirk kissed Spock chastely and broke their quiet moment.

“If I don’t go to bed right now I am going fall asleep on my feet,” Kirk whispered, opening his eyes.

“Perhaps I shall leave you to sleep here so that I may be able to have adequate room on which to sleep,” Spock said, an eyebrow quirked.

“Hey! I do _not_ hog the bed.”

Spock only shot him a blank look.

“And if I do, it is completely your fault,” Kirk said, pointing to his expanded belly, his own eyebrow raised.

“You hogged the bed before we conceived, Jim and I believe you were active in the conception of our child,” Spock said, leaving the shower and grabbing two towels.

Kirk scoffed and rolled his eyes.

“In that case, why don’t we just sleep in separate beds?” Kirk asked.

“Because it is highly unlikely that either of us would have a restful sleep cycle if we slept apart,” Spock said matter-of-factly while handing his mate a towel.

Kirk couldn’t help but smirk. Spock might act prickly sometimes, but Kirk knew he had Spock wrapped around his finger just as Spock had Kirk wrapped around his own finger.

Spock threw him a soft look that confirmed his theory.

He and Spock dried off and dressed in pajamas. Kirk climbed into bed and sighed with relief. Spock climbed into bed and pulled the covers over them. Kirk automatically curled around Spock. Spock pulled Kirk closer and rested a hand on Kirk’s swollen belly, branding the baby and Kirk as his. Kirk brought a hand up to cup Spock’s face and kissed his soft lips before resting his head against Spock’s neck. Spock ran his other hand up and down Kirk’s back, which quickly encouraged Kirk to leave consciousness behind.                


	2. Chapter 2

Spock remembered when Kirk told him he was pregnant. Kirk was seated on a chair in Kirk’s cabin, bouncing one leg up and down while licking his lips. He tried to smile but it morphed into a grimace. Spock sat down across from him, patiently waiting for Kirk to speak his mind.

“We need to talk.”

“I surmised as such,” Spock said neutrally. Kirk was always fidgety when he had something important to say.

“You wanna play chess while we talk?”

Spock nodded and followed Kirk to the table on which rested the chess set, set up and ready. Kirk played black while Spock played white. The room was completely silent save for the clack of chess pieces on the board. While they played, the air was tense and uncertain. Kirk never took his eyes off the chess board. His face was serious, almost stormy as he concentrated on the game. It was twenty minutes before he spoke.

“What do you think about kids?” Kirk asked, still looking at the board.

Spock raised an eyebrow in surprise at the question. Spock looked down at the board. It was his turn. He pondered the question while planning his next move. The question was unclear and vague, and there were many ways to interpret the question. Kirk could be asking about what Spock thought about children in general, or if Spock wished to have children of his own someday. If only humans were more direct and straightforward like Vulcans, but Spock had learned to adapt.

“I wish to become a father,” Spock answered after moving his bishop up one level.

Kirk finally made eye contact with Spock, but his eyes were difficult to read. He looked down again and they resumed their game. Kirk didn’t say anymore after that. They were in the beginning stages of their romantic relationship. They had shared many things with each other, including their bodies and some of their secrets. However, they had yet to discuss plans of their future. Spock knew he wanted Kirk as a mate, but humans were more susceptible to changing their minds and getting bored in their current relationships. However, Spock was certain Kirk would be faithful should they ever wed.

Spock ended up winning the game, but he didn’t count it as a triumph due to the fact Kirk was distracted. Spock bid Kirk a good night and moved to leave Kirk’s quarters when Kirk stopped him. Kirk backed up Spock against a wall and kissed him thoroughly. Kirk broke the passionate kiss and wrapped his arms around Spock as Spock wrapped his own arms around Kirk’s body. Spock had no idea what caused Kirk to kiss him, but Spock already knew his lover was unpredictable. Then, Kirk stepped away from Spock and took Spock’s hand in his own. Kirk placed Spock’s hand on his flat abdomen. Spock was confused for a moment, but he understood the significance of the gesture and the reason behind Kirk’s vague question.

Spock met Kirk’s eyes. They were scared and uncertain even though Spock expressed his desire to become a father. Spock’s lips curved into a barely noticeable smile, but Kirk could see it clearly. Kirk breathed a sigh of relief at Spock’s reaction. Spock kissed Kirk lightly.

Spock and Kirk sat down next to each other on Kirk’s couch in the living area. Their bodies were close, but not touching except for their hands.

“When did you find out, Jim?” Spock asked.

“Today. I haven’t been able to keep food down for the past week, so I went to Bones. Turned out to be morning sickness,” answered Kirk.  

“What are your thoughts regarding the fact we have conceived?”

“To be honest, I have never been more scared in my life.”

Spock nodded in acknowledgment. Their lives were indeed going to change. Spock sent calm and soothing thoughts through their touching skin.

“Do you wish to continue with the pregnancy, Jim?” Spock asked. It would be difficult to be pregnant while captaining the flag starship.

Kirk nodded and tightened his hold on Spock’s hand.

“Yeah,” Kirk whispered.

Spock gathered Kirk in his arms and held him close. Kirk melted against him, thankful for Spock’s quiet support. Kirk was sure going to need it for the months and even years ahead. 


	3. Sick

Kirk spent the first four months of his pregnancy in sick bay. Spock became acting captain and largely reduced his responsibilities as Chief Science Officer in order to attend to Kirk.

During the third month of gestation, Kirk’s health was at risk. Spock and Dr. McCoy watched helplessly as Kirk continued to lose weight and the fetus failed to grow at a normal rate. If Kirk’s health didn’t improve, McCoy would have no choice but to intervene.

Spock sat with Kirk every day after his shift and when Kirk was awake, they played chess and went over ship business. When Kirk was asleep, Spock climbed into the bed and curled around Kirk. If McCoy noticed, he didn’t say anything.

One day, after Spock got up from Kirk’s bed, he went to McCoy’s office. When he arrived, McCoy already had two glasses of brandy on his desk. Spock sat down heavily and downed the entire glass. He savored in the burn of the alcohol. The brandy wouldn’t inebriate him, but it might cause him to feel a light buzz if he drank enough. McCoy refilled Spock’s glass after he set it down.

Spock looked at McCoy, and noticed the dark bags under his eyes. He knew he didn’t look much better.

“I plan on asking Jim to marry me,” Spock asked.

McCoy nearly choked on his drink. He set the glass down and pinned Spock with a disbelieving look.

“Wouldn’t it be more logical to ask his hand in marriage after he gets better?” McCoy asked.

“There is a chance Jim will not live whether or not you terminate the pregnancy. I would rather have Jim now than not at all,” Spock said in calm, rational voice.

McCoy sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “And if he says no?”

“That would indeed be his prerogative and his right, but I want Jim to know my feelings toward him.”

McCoy’s eyes softened and poured himself and Spock another drink. The bottle was almost empty.

“We’re going to need a lot more brandy to get through the month,” McCoy grunted.

Spock found himself nodding in agreement.

“You may procure more at the next star base,” Spock promised. He got up and made his way toward the door. “Please send me Jim’s status tomorrow morning.”

“Always do,” McCoy said.                                                                           

The next day, Spock found Kirk awake, reading something on a PADD. When Kirk saw Spock walk in he smiled tiredly.  Spock felt himself warm at Kirk’s positive reaction to his arrival. Spock sat on Kirk’s bed and took his hand into his own. Spock ran a thumb over Kirk’s knuckles.

“Bones said the baby is finally growing normally,” Kirk said proudly.

“Indeed?”

Spock placed a hand on Kirk’s slightly distended abdomen. Spock noticed it had grown, but Kirk’s complexion was still pale and slightly sickly. While Spock was relieved their baby was developing normally, Spock was still concerned about Kirk.

“I wish to marry you, Jim,” Spock said.

Kirk merely looked at him.

“Whoa, uh, where did that come from?” Kirk asked, eyebrows furrowed in confused.

“I am aware we have only been together for nine months, but as we have created a child it would be opportune for us to marry,” Spock reasoned.

“Logical as usual, Mr. Spock,” Kirk laughed.

“I also wished to marry you three months into our relationship.”

“That soon, huh? But why now when we have no idea how this pregnancy is going to turn out?” Kirk’s voice broke.

Spock merely cupped Kirk’s face and stroked a pronounced cheekbone gently with his thumb. Kirk closed his eyes and savored the gentle contact. He could also read the emotions coming from Spock through his skin. Kirk opened his eyes and looked at Spock knowingly and nodded.

“I’ll marry you, Spock. There’s no one else I would rather be with,” Kirk said confidently.

Spook noticeably relaxed his stiff spine and leaned his head forward to rest on Kirk’s to have more contact. Spock could feel Kirk’s fear and nervousness, and Spock admitted to sharing them.

At that moment, McCoy walked into Kirk’s private room for a checkup.

“Hey Bones, Spock and I are getting married,” Kirk said with a weak smile.

“This should be interesting,” said McCoy gruffly. McCoy squeezed Kirk’s shoulder and nodded at Spock before proceeding with the checkup.

They filed the necessary paperwork and submitted it to Starfleet. They received their marriage certificate in a matter of days. They also received a message from the New Vulcan High Council stating Kirk was now considered a citizen of New Vulcan and would be accepted into Spock’s clan. The baby, of course, would also receive New Vulcan citizenship and a place in Spock’s clan.

After Kirk and Spock were officially married, Kirk’s health worsened.

Not only was Kirk not able to eat anything, he was vomiting blood and getting severe headaches. McCoy gave Kirk countless hypos to combat the symptoms, and while some worked, Kirk continued to have headaches and be dehydrated and malnourished. He continued to lose valuable weight even though McCoy gave him nutrient hypos, which never could replace eating a well-balanced meal. McCoy gave Kirk sleeping aids at night so that he would get the rest he needed.

After two glasses of brandy, McCoy told Spock, “I think we should end the pregnancy. I don’t see the fetus able to develop any further, and if Jim doesn’t get better he’ll die.”

Spock allowed himself to release a human sigh. Spock hadn’t been able to sleep or meditate for weeks.

“I agree. There is a higher chance Jim will survive if we intervene,” Spock said, slouched in his chair and stared at the desk.

McCoy nodded and scrubbed a hand over his face. “You shouldn’t blame yourself, you know.”

“I do not. However, if Jim dies…” Spock trailed off, refusing to think that way. He turned his head, as if shaking off his thoughts.

“If Jim dies, you will have to keep going. This ship of crazy death-seeking lunatics will need you to keep running this ship. Jim wouldn’t tolerate any less from you.”

Spock tried to sit straighter as if trying to meet his expectations, but McCoy could see he was weighed down with fears and doubts. They both were.

When McCoy told Kirk about his and Spock’s thoughts, Kirk outright refused.

“I am not giving up on this pregnancy,” Kirk said with steel in his eyes.

“You’re dying, Jim. You are wasting away, and if I don’t do something you will die, which means both you and the baby will die,” McCoy argued.

“I know how it works, Bones, but don’t give up on me, okay? I am fighting to stay alive and you just want to swoop in and making it all for nothing,” Kirk spit out.

Unfortunately, Kirk’s speech caused a coughing fit. McCoy held his frail friend and rubbed soothing circles into his back. Kirk stopped coughing and fought to get his breath back. Once he regained his breath, he relaxed into the pillows.

“I’m not going to do anything you don’t want me to do, Jim. You know that. I’m just looking out for you,” McCoy said softly.

Jim nodded and gave him a weak smile. “I know. Just give me more time, okay?” Jim asked.

McCoy pursed his lips, clearly not liking the idea, but nodded. “Sure, kid,” McCoy said, giving Kirk a pat on the back before he left the room.

At that moment, Spock walked into Sickbay and nodded to McCoy before walking into Kirk’s private room. McCoy stopped to watch them. Spock sat on Kirk’s bed and held Kirk’s hand like he always did. McCoy watched Kirk tell Spock his decision to continue with the pregnancy. Spock nodded and gathered Kirk’s thin body in his arms. Spock ran a hand through Kirk’s hair as Kirk rested his chin on Spock’s shoulder. McCoy could see tears rolling down Kirk’s face. McCoy finally turned away. 


	4. Argument

After Kirk was released from Sickbay, he was on strict medical leave for one more month before he could resume his duties as captain of the starship _Enterprise_. The Vulcan paid close attention to his captain to ascertain his health and wellbeing, as was his duty as first officer. Spock moved into Kirk’s quarters only after Kirk started working on the bridge again and he was deemed fully recovered and healthy by Dr. McCoy.

The step from lovers to married couple was short, and Spock and Kirk were still learning how to be together. One thing was for sure, Kirk and Spock became closer after Kirk became pregnant and severely ill. Living together, however, would test their relationship.

Kirk was not a slob by any means, but he wasn’t exactly on par with Spock’s standard of neatness. Spock, on the other hand, was very adamant about keeping a neat living space. Kirk knew where everything was in his cabin until Spock moved in.

“Hey Spock, do you know where my books are?”

Spock walked in to find his husband on the floor by the bed, supporting his body on his knees and elbows while his ass was up in the air. Spock couldn’t help but fix his gaze on Kirk’s ample backside.

“Your books are on the bookshelf, Jim, which is their designated location, rather than carelessly on the floor.”

Kirk stood up and turned to face Spock. His eyes shone blue against his flushed face.

“They were not ‘scattered carelessly on the floor’ as you put it. They were on the ground so that I could find them easily if I wanted to read them. I knew where each one was before you put them away.”

“If we are to live together harmoniously, we each have to make compromises.”

“So far, I’m the only one making compromises here.” Kirk’s voice was starting to rise.

“Please extrapolate,” Spock said in a flat voice, both of his eyebrows raised.

“You complain about everything I do. I leave a towel on a chair and you tell me I shouldn’t leave my own towel on my own chair. I listen to music on _low_ and you tell me to turn it off because you can’t concentrate on paper work. I can’t do anything without you _criticizing_ me for it and I’m sick of it!”

After Jim’s speech, his whole body began to tremble and his eyes were bright with unshed tears. He quickly blinked and shook his head, as if he were trying to shake off his anger and frustration and when he turned to face Spock, he looked calm and collected.

“I’m sorry, Spock. I’m sorry for leaving my books on the floor. It will not happen again,” Kirk said in a low, resigned tone.  

Kirk moved to leave their shared cabin, but Spock moved to stand in his way.

“I apologize for causing you distress, Jim. You are correct that I have been difficult to live with and I will remedy my behavior,” Spock said hurriedly.

Spock had not intended to anger or upset Kirk.

Kirk sighed as some of the stiffness in his shoulders left. He crossed his arms over his chest.

“We really need to learn how to live together if this marriage is going to work, Spock, especially since we are going to bring a kid into it.”

Spock nodded and said softly, “I agree. I have little experience in serious romantic relationships and no experience in living in the same domicile as a romantic partner. However, with time and patience, we may be able to create a healthy environment in which to raise a child. Unfortunately, we only have four months to create such an environment.”

Kirk smiled ruefully. “Learning to live together is one thing, but marriage takes constant work, or so they say. Can we really balance commanding a starship, parenthood, _and_ our relationship?”

Spock’s brows furrowed and his lips pursed. “I am certain we will have more arguments and disagreements in the future, but if we set aside quality time for each other and make each other a priority, we will likely have a fulfilling relationship.”

Kirk walked forward to stand closer to Spock. His eyes searched Spock’s.  

Kirk swallowed and blinked his eyes before he said, “I love you, Spock.”

Spock’s head tilted slightly to one side. Kirk’s admission had momentarily halted his thought processes.

“This is the first time you have verbalized your affection toward me.”

Kirk smiled softly. “Yeah, I guess it is. I mean it, though. You were in Sickbay with me every day for almost four months and ran the ship at the same time. You also supported me when I wanted to keep the baby even though I was extremely sick. You…you have no idea what all that means to me. Now, if you could only let me listen to my music and allow me to put my towel wherever I want I would love you even more.”

Kirk wore his classic Kirk grin and beamed at Spock.

“I will allow you to listen to dated Terran music and the placement of your towel and books on any surface without comment if you allow me to complete paper work in our quarters after twenty-one hundred hours.”

Kirk had set a rule for Spock to not work after a certain time so that they could spend some time together. However, the rule proved inconvenient for Spock when there was a surplus of messages and documents from Starfleet Headquarters and department heads to review at the end of each month.

Kirk’s eyebrow twitched before he answered with a nod, “You have yourself a deal, Mr. Spock.”

Shortly after, the two men were situated in bed. Spock worked silently on a PADD while Kirk gazed up at the ceiling in thought.

Kirk turned to Spock after almost thirty minutes of silence.

“I know you love me, too,” Kirk said softly.

Spock stopped working and peered down at Kirk, his gaze intense as he looked down at his mate’s serious face. Spock was silent as he lightly touched Kirk’s psi points. Kirk felt whispers of warmth and affection before Spock broke the light meld. The human’s face split into a wide smile, a smile that sent heat to Spock’s belly. Spock put away his PADDs and laid down beneath the covers and ordered the computer to turn off the lights. Kirk automatically wrapped his arms around his husband and tucked his head underneath Spock’s chin. Spock couldn’t help but hum in contentment as he held his mate in his arms. 


	5. Movement

The following months were relatively smooth with only a few bumps here and there. Kirk was able to listen to his music and place his personal items in unorthodox places without Spock saying anything, but he made an effort to keep a relatively neat and quiet space. Spock noticed Kirk’s thoughtful behavior and made sure to praise him. Even though Spock stopped criticizing Kirk’s habits and actions, Spock wasn’t above teasing him to show affection. Spock also noticed that Kirk smiled thirty percent more often, which illogically made Spock feel warm despite the overall cool temperature of the ship. Spock was concerned that he wouldn’t be able to emotionally satisfy a human partner, and in the beginning, that was indeed true. However, he was confident he could meet Kirk’s needs, especially after their discussion months before.

They established a routine in which after shift, Spock and Kirk would exercise together in the gym four to five days a week or depending on Kirk’s level of fatigue or the amount of work Spock had as science officer and XO. Kirk continued to run and lift weights, but he was careful to not push himself more than what was safe for the pregnancy. Despite what people may have thought, Kirk always had the baby in mind and he did everything he could to make sure it had the best start possible. He also picked up yoga to relax and stretch his body to prepare his body for the months ahead. Kirk missed sparring with Spock, which was both exhilarating and sexy as hell, but he knew the high risk and intensity of sparring was out of the question. Spock continued sparring, however, and Kirk had to admit that watching Spock spar was better than watching even his favorite porn vids.

After nineteen hundred hours, Kirk would return to their quarters to nap or read while Spock attended to the science department and his many experiments. Once Spock was finished in the labs or had time for a break, they would eat their evening meal together alone in their quarters or in the mess to socialize with their fellow officers and subordinates.

The couple didn’t get to spend a lot of time together with their many responsibilities and duties as commanding officers, but when they had time to devote to each other, they made sure it counted. They would discuss various topics anywhere from missions, politics, and history to literature, warp physics, and their own personal histories. And even though Kirk wasn’t up to having sex, he enjoyed a good make out session with his more than willing husband. It made him feel like a teenager again in his first foray into the world of sloppy lips, sweaty palms, and unsure hands instead of a pregnant captain in his early thirties.

While they were kissing and necking one night, Kirk jumped and gasped. Spock automatically pulled himself away from Kirk’s warm and welcoming body, concerned that he had accidentally hurt his human mate, but when he looked at Kirk’s face he saw joy and surprise, not pain. Kirk grabbed Spock’s wrist and placed his hand on his round belly.

“Do you feel it? Do you feel it moving?” Kirk asked excitedly.         

Spock moved to place both hands on his human’s soft, smooth skin. He touched the swollen abdomen, searching for any sign of life within. Spock moved his right hand up two centimeters upward when he felt a slight fluttering from beneath layers of skin and muscle. He then felt the same fluttering underneath his left hand, which cupped the lower right quadrant of Kirk’s abdomen.

Spock felt a swell of overwhelming, almost painful emotion in his chest. He struggled to breathe and his eyes prickled. Spock climbed off the bed and walked into the living area where he breathed deeply to calm and center himself. It was disconcerting for him to feel so much emotion.

Spock could count the number of times on two hands: the moment in which Stonn had called his mother a whore and his father a traitor, the moment he lost both his planet and his mother to Nero, the moment Kirk accused him of not loving his own mother, the moment Kirk told him he was pregnant, the moment McCoy told him both Kirk and their baby were healthy enough to continue the pregnancy, the moment Kirk told him he loved him, and the moment he felt his healthy child move for the first time.

Spock was more than certain he was going to experience strong emotions in the future despite his disciplined mind and devotion to the Vulcan way, especially where Kirk and his child were concerned. Kirk had wormed his way under his skin and had become an intrinsic part of Spock, and there was no way Kirk was ever going to leave. Spock didn’t want him to leave.

Spock had entered a light meditative state when he felt arms encircle his torso from behind. He then felt light kisses being placed on the nape of his neck. Spock closed his eyes and reveled in the sensations and the warm emotions radiating from Kirk. He turned in Kirk’s well-defined arms to face him. Kirk’s brilliant eyes were filled with unshed tears and his lips were curved in a bright smile.

“Come back to bed, Mr. Spock. We can continue our hot make out session or we can bet on where the baby kicks next,” Kirk said as he pulled Spock toward the bed by the hand.

“Of course, Captain,” Spock said, allowing humor to color his words. Spock squeezed Kirk’s warm, rough hand.

Spock was relieved that Kirk had lightened the mood, even though it was clear they were still affected by the new development in the pregnancy. That night, they were content to feel their baby move, during which a relaxed and fatigued Kirk fell asleep trying to predict the baby’s next target.


	6. Nyota

Spock had always wanted to become a father. Sometimes, when Spock allowed himself to let his thoughts wonder, he would picture a young child with Vulcan features. His child. Spock would imagine holding it, soothing it when it was in distress. He would hold it in his arms and sing the lullabies his mother would often sing when it couldn’t sleep or it was emotionally agitated. He would stroke a gentle finger over soft cheeks and let affection flow into his child’s troubled mind. Spock would then imagine his child as an adolescent, caught between childhood and adulthood. While Spock would guide and direct his offspring, he would also step back and allow the youth to navigate the world on its own. But no matter what, Spock would be there whenever he was needed or wanted.

Despite Spock’s wishes, he was less than confidant in his ability to find a mate after T’Pring perished with Vulcan. Vulcans who had lost mates were quickly bonded to stabilize their wounded minds and to begin procreation efforts. Spock was not considered as a potential mate by the Vulcan High Council or the remaining Vulcan population due to his hybrid status and his continuous dedication to Starfleet. Spock, then, was left to find a non-Vulcan mate through dating and courtship. However, he was not confident in his ability successfully obtain a mate for life.

His first serious relationship was with Lieutenant Nyota Uhura. He and Uhura met at the Academy when he was her instructor for both Xenobiology and Advanced Vulcan, and she immediately impressed him with her confidence and her determination. That confidence and determination drove her to excel in her studies and set the test curve for each class. Unlike many cadets who partook in his courses, Uhura sought him during his office hours to learn more about Vulcan culture and language. Spock took pleasure in teaching, and Uhura enabled him to lecture on several subjects in greater detail than the allotted scheduled class time. A friendship was established when their discussions became more personal when Spock and Uhura shared anecdotes from their childhood and adolescence. Spock found solace in his ability to connect with another being outside his family and clan.

Spock was also appreciative of his opportunity to observe human behavior from firsthand account in a non-familial environment. As he was going to be living with a primarily human crew in space, it was most logical to become aware and understand human nature as well as hegemonic norms and mores. Spock’s mother had adapted a great deal to Vulcan society, which made her a poor sample of the general human population.

Uhura sought Spock after the Battle of Vulcan so that he would not be alone with his grief and pain of losing his mother, T’Pring, and his planet mere minutes if not seconds apart. It alleviated some of his grief to know Uhura also mourned the loss of Vulcan and the vast majority of its inhabitants. Spock considered Uhura to be one of his most trusted confidants. 

After the Enterprise embarked on her five year voyage, Spock began to see Uhura as the attractive individual she was and as a potential mate. The sound of her laughter was bright and it warmed him because it signified that she was happy. Uhura’s doe eyes projected her intelligence and wisdom as well as warmth. She was an ideal mate, one who Spock could share his life with. Spock also thought she would make a more than satisfactory mother due to her ability to lead and teach with affection and kindness.

Spock was more than pleased when Uhura accepted his desire for a romantic relationship. She immediately kissed his cheek and smiled at him.

“I was wondering when you were going to ask me out, Spock” she said with a wink.           

Spock was emotionally fulfilled by their relationship. The regular companionship and physical contact soothed him in a way meditation could not. Spock enjoyed physical intimacy a great deal, but he also enjoyed the fact he could feel another being’s emotions in his sparse mind.

They were six point seven months into their relationship when Uhura ended it.    

Spock had just walked into Uhura’s quarters when she said, “We need to end this relationship, Spock.”

Spock halted his steps and felt his heart beat stutter. He swallowed the lump that had formed in his throat.

“For what reason, Nyota?” Spock’s voice was calm and neutral.

Uhura walked closer to Spock and sighed. Her doe eyes were full of remorse, but also resolve. Spock wanted to do nothing more but to hold Uhura and smell her natural scent while stroking her hair as he often did, but he reigned in his desire to focus on what Uhura said next.

“I can’t give you what you need from me, Spock.”

Spock’s eyebrows furrowed and his lips pursed. “Just to clarify, what is it that I need from you?”

Uhura smiled sadly and said, “You need me to give all of myself to you, to open up and show you everything. You need someone who will let you in and not hold back, and I can’t do that. Not for you and not for anyone else.”

Spock gave a small nod as his gaze focused on spot by Uhura’s shoulder. He had noticed that Uhura often held back when it came to their relationship. She dedicated herself fully to her duties aboard the ship which sometimes meant spending long hours in the communication labs, translating alien languages to Standard and vice versa. In this, Spock and Uhura were very similar. However, Uhura often closed herself off when it came to personal matters. She would distract both herself and Spock with sex if she was ever upset or agitated. Spock, however, could feel the turmoil underneath her skin, and when he asked Uhura about it, she would shut down and distance herself from him. Spock had hoped Uhura would be more honest with him as their relationship progressed, but Uhura had yet to fully express her thoughts and feelings to him. Until now.

Spock breathed deeply to center himself before meeting Uhura’s eyes.

“Have I done anything that has made you feel as though you could not be emotionally open with me?”

Uhura emphatically shook her head in the negative. She then held Spock’s face in her deceptively strong hands and stroked his cheeks with her thumbs. Spock allowed himself to savor the gentle touch as their relationship was ending.

“No,” Uhura said softly. “You have been nothing but good to me, Spock. I need to end our relationship now, though, because it is heading into a direction I can’t go. You wanted to marry me at some point, didn’t you?”

“Yes. I also wished to bond with you when the time came. Our minds are more than compatible.”

Uhura visibly swallowed as she took in how much regard Spock had for her. She released Spock and took a step back.

“I would ask for us to remain friends, but I know that’s not possible,” Uhura said.

Mere friendship was indeed not possible due to the fact there would always be the memories of them together, desperate and clutching each other while their limbs tangled and their lips left hot brands on brown and white skin.

“I will indeed mourn the loss of our friendship. You are the only human I know who enjoys obscure pre-reform Vulcan literature and Vulcan tea as much as I,” Spock replied.

Uhura laughed and gave Spock a radiant smile. Spock’s gut clenched as he knew this may be the last time he would see Uhura’s smile directed at him. He held his hand in the ta’al salute and waited until Uhura mirrored his action before leaving her cabin.


	7. The Beginning

When their five-year mission began, Spock could not form a stable opinion regarding his captain. While Kirk was a dedicated and often brilliant captain, he was also brash and unpredictable. It took months for Spock to find a method to his madness and chaos, but once he did, he was better able to predict and understand his captain’s strategies and tactics. He began to see the reason and logic behind Kirk’s decisions, and he began to admire and respect his captain instead of being weary and cautious of him.  

A friendship began to form as it often does when a person trusts another with his or her life during dangerous missions. Spock, fortunately, had many reasons to trust Kirk.

Spock regarded Kirk highly enough to tell him that Uhura terminated their relationship a month prior. Spock was still experiencing the loss of her companionship and presence in his personal life, and to remedy his current loneliness, he began meeting with Kirk on a regular basis to spar, go over paperwork, or play chess. Spock even joined in on poker games with Kirk, McCoy, Scotty, and Sulu. His days were full and productive, which usually left little time to think of Uhura.

Spock was in Kirk’s quarters drinking a cup of Vulcan tea when he told Kirk. Whenever he drank his preferred tea variety, he was reminded of Uhura. He swallowed thickly and closed his eyes, briefly remembering Uhura’s smile and the feeling of her skin against his.

“Nyota and I terminated our relationship,” Spock said, hands wrapped around the hot mug.

The two men had just finished playing three quiet games of chess in a row with Spock as the victor two out of the three times. It was late, but neither men made any comment about retiring for the night. Kirk and Spock could easily spend an entire night in silence, which Spock preferred over senseless chatter.

Kirk crossed his arms across his chest and released a long stream of breath through his nose.

“Fuck, Spock. I’m sorry.”

“What is, is, Jim.”

“I know you two were close.”

Spock opened his eyes and looked at Kirk. “Close, yet at the same time distant. I never quite grasped the concept of paradoxes until I enlisted in Starfleet, but our relationship was indeed a contradiction. I was satisfied though Nyota was not.”

Kirk furrowed his eyebrows and licked his lips. “Do you want to talk about it?”

Spock took a long sip of his cooling tea. “Nyota did not wish to be in a serious, long-term relationship.”

“Huh. If I had a dollar for every time I said that to someone,” Kirk said with a humorless grin. Then he sobered up and gave Spock a sympathetic look. “I really am sorry. It must have been serious for you.”

“It was,” Spock said softly.

“Well, I wish you luck in your next romantic endeavor, Commander.”

Spock raised an eyebrow. “Thank you, Captain. Good night.”

“’Night, Spock.”

Spock got up and turned to leave.

“Hey.”

Spock stopped and turned back to Kirk.

“Same time tomorrow? I’ll wipe the floor with you. That’s a promise,” Kirk said with a genuine smile.

“It is in poor form to make promises you cannot keep, Jim,” Spock said in his trademark inflection-less, monotone voice.

Kirk’s laugh followed Spock out the cabin.

* * *

 

Spock spent most of his time with Kirk. Obviously they served together on the bridge and on away missions, but Spock now spent more time in Kirk’s quarter’s than his own. He sometimes even meditated in his captain’s sleeping area while Kirk read or worked on paperwork in the living area. Kirk had become Spock’s main source of companionship with Dr. McCoy second. Spock would never admit that he considered McCoy a good friend. Despite their bickering and heated debates, McCoy was nothing if not trustworthy and generous. Spock enjoyed drinking the occasional brandy and entertaining anecdote in McCoy’s office when all was calm aboard the _Enterprise_.

When the first anniversary of the Battle of Vulcan rolled around, Kirk gave Spock an authentic Vulcan lyre. Spock’s previous lyre was lost with Vulcan, but he had not thought to replace it. Any reminder of Vulcan was sure to be impossible to procure by reasonable or legal means. Individuals throughout the universe, especially those of Ferengi heritage, capitalized on the near complete loss of an entire culture and race of people. Spock lamented often not bringing all of his personal belongings, but it was illogical to regret not preparing for an unforeseen event.

When Kirk presented Spock with the lyre, Spock couldn’t help but reach out take it from Kirk’s grasp. He ran a finger from the fret bar to the spine, feeling the smooth wood glide effortlessly beneath it. It was indeed authentic and beautifully crafted, built from trees only found on Vulcan. Spock then carefully plucked each string and expertly tuned the instrument.

“I take it you like it?”

Spock’s head snapped up and noticed Kirk’s presence for the first time since he laid eyes on the harp.

“How were you able to obtain this?" Spock asked slowly, in a kind of awe at seeing and touching something thought to have been lost forever.

Kirk smirked and gave a small shrug.

“I pulled some strings here and there. It wasn’t easy, but I heard you talking about having the lyre a while ago so I did what I could.”

“I had a lyre very similar to this one. When I was a child, I would leave my home during the night with my sehlat and play it on the plateaus overlooking Shikahr,” Spock reminisced. “It was one of the few gifts my father purchased me.”

Kirk smiled softly and sat on Spock’s couch. “Play me something?”

“I was not aware you enjoyed Vulcan music, Captain.” Spock quirked an eyebrow. He sat opposite Kirk in a chair with the lyre at his lap.

Spock closed his eyes and breathed deeply. Having the lyre in his hands renewed his feelings of homesickness he often experienced when he was a cadet at Starfleet Academy. As time passed, he no longer missed his home planet, but now that Vulcan no longer existed, he couldn’t help but remember the fine texture of the red sand beneath his bare feet and the warmth he felt deep within his bones from the planet’s twin suns.

With his eyes still closed, he began to play an old Vulcan piece that always stirred deeply hidden emotions inside himself. When these emotions were brought into the forefront of his consciousness, he felt connected to the universe outside himself. He felt himself lose himself in the music. When the piece ended, Spock opened his eyes and remembered he was not alone. He met Kirk’s calm blue eyes.   

“Spock, that was…that was beautiful,” Kirk said.

“Thank you, Captain.” Spock stood up and carefully placed the lyre in its case and closed it. “This is a very generous gift.”

“I know it will be put to good use, Mr. Spock.” Kirk smiled and walked over to Spock.

Kirk’s smile fell from his lips and his former light attitude shifted and his eyes darkened.

“I really am sorry, for what happened a year ago today. The loss of Vulcan…it’s the worst thing that could have happened to the Federation.”

“Thank you, Jim. Losing both my mother and my planet was indeed traumatic.”

Spock still grieved, but the pain had begun to dull and lessen as time passed.

Kirk placed a hand on Spock’s arm. When he met no resistance from Spock, he lightly rubbed the fabric with his thumb. Spock stepped closer to Kirk, which gave Kirk confidence.

“May I come over again tomorrow?” Kirk asked.

Kirk knew that he was always welcome into Spock’s quarters, but Kirk’s tone and continued physical contact implied that Kirk’s visit would be more than friendly. Spock felt his stomach flip in anticipation and low-burning excitement. He had no qualms against admitting that Kirk was indeed an attractive being, but he couldn’t help but feel trepidation at the prospect of a new relationship that could fail and end a friendship Spock greatly valued. He could not lose another friend.

Spock met Kirk’s eyes and saw genuine hope and sincerity. Spock swallowed and nodded minutely.

“You may,” Spock said, voice strong.

Kirk’s lips curved upwards into a bright smile that sent a wave of heat to wash over Spock. Then, those lips were on Spock’s and Spock found himself up against a bulkhead. Spock only had a moment to enjoy the feel of Kirk’s soft lips on his before Kirk was five feet from Spock.

He rubbed his neck and smiled impishly at Spock. “Sorry about jumping you like that.”

“It is flattering to be so desired,” Spock said softly.

“I don’t want just sex from you, Spock.”    

“I know. You would not have given me such a priceless musical instrument merely for an exchange of bodily fluids.”

“Is that all what sex is for you?” Kirk laughed. “‘An exchange of bodily fluids?’”

Spock quirked an eyebrow and titled his head.

“Ha! You are so full of shit. I bet you are a closet hedonist with a ravenous appetite for hot, toe-curling sex,” Kirk crowed.

Spock felt an urge to show Kirk just what he thought of sex, but his need for meditation overrode satisfying his baser urges with his trusted friend and captain. He simply placed a chaste kiss on Kirk’s cheek.

“Thank you for the lyre, Jim.”

“Anything for you, Spock,” Kirk said, almost breathless.

Spock knew Kirk would be true to his word. He felt happiness bubbling underneath his emotional control, but he ensured that emotion was not in any way expressed.

Kirk left soon after, and while Spock mediated with his lyre safely stowed away, his presence and influence stayed with Spock. 


	8. 8 Months

Kirk was eight months pregnant, and he was cranky. He felt like the size of a planet, and he was certain random objects would start orbiting his belly one of these days. Furthermore, the baby was big and very active, which meant sleep was often interrupted. Kirk was certain he was pregnant with a huge, mutant monster baby instead of a normal Human-Vulcan hybrid with the best combination genes any being could possibly have. Dr. McCoy, however, assured him that his pregnancy and the baby were perfectly normal and healthy, but Kirk suspected he was bullshitting him. Probably payback for all the pranks Kirk pulled on McCoy during their Academy days.

Kirk only stopped by the bridge every so often now, and usually only when he was absolutely needed. He had become a bit of a recluse, preferring to spend all day in the comfort of his newly renovated quarters. McCoy teased him that he had begun to nest like a damn animal. Whatever. Kirk wasn’t going to leave his cabin if he didn’t need to.

Kirk was feeling particularly anxious one day as he made sure everything was ready for the baby when Spock came home early. Kirk's tense muscles automatically loosened at the sight of him.

“Hey, Sweetheart. You’re back early.”

“There are no pressing matters on the bridge that need my attention,” Spock explained simply.

Kirk was about to argue that Spock never left early, even if it was a slow day but he stood behind Kirk and placed his hands on Kirk’s belly as he nuzzled his neck. Kirk shivered and closed his eyes. God, he definitely needed this. He needed to get out of his mind and simply _feel_ , and being touched by Spock was such a wonderful escape. Spock rubbed soothing circles on Kirk’s abdomen and kissed the junction of his shoulder and neck. Kirk tilted his head back and moaned. Hot pleasure pooled in his belly and he shuddered in need. He turned around and pressed his lips to Spock’s in a hungry kiss.

“I need you,” Kirk said against his husband’s lips.

Kirk was certain Spock would agree to have sex, but instead Spock stepped away from him.

“I apologize, but it would not be advisable to have sex this late in the pregnancy.”

Kirk met Spock’s eyes and saw traces of guilt.  

Kirk released a long sigh and sat on the couch. His usual aches and pains came back as his arousal died down. Spock joined him on the couch.

“Why did you leave work early?”

“I have decided to take paternity leave. It has already been approved by Starfleet,” said Spock.

Kirk grabbed Spock’s hand and held it. He couldn’t be angry at Spock for more than ten minutes before Spock did or say something thoughtful and caring. Kirk was in deep.

“You have been anxious as of late,” continued Spock.

“Just thinking about the baby and if I will be a good dad,” Kirk said.

Spock nodded. He lifted up Kirk’s cotton shirt and placed a hand on his swollen belly. Kirk sat back and relaxed, focusing on Spock’s gentle, slightly cool touch.

“I too think about our child and my ability to satisfactorily raise it.” Spock was more than content to feel his child move within his mate.

“Our baby is lucky to have you as a dad, Spock.”

Spock wrapped Kirk in his arms and pulled him as close as their baby would allow. Spock always felt calmer when he was in physical contact with Kirk, and Spock knew Kirk also derived comfort from his close proximity.

Spock hoped Kirk was right, and that he would be a more attentive and loving father than his own father was to him. Spock could not blame Sarek, however, as Sarek represented the ideal Vulcan parent, but perhaps Spock’s hybrid heritage required human approaches to parenting as well as Vulcan.  

“I believe our child will also benefit from having you as a father,” Spock said.

Kirk was a strong, fair leader who put the safety of his crew above all else, and he was a loving and attentive mate who placed great importance on Spock’s well-being. 

Kirk couldn’t help but laugh. “Yeah, I will teach the kid how to cheat at poker and how to get shitfaced the night before a big test and still ace it.”

Spock raised an incredulous eyebrow. “I am beginning to question human child-rearing practices, Jim.”

“Don’t you worry, Mr. Spock. Our kid is going to be more than prepared for life.” Kirk gave Spock a sloppy kiss before grinning at him.

His good mood was interrupted by a particularly strong kick from the topic of their conversation. Kirk hissed in pain and swore. He pressed slightly on his round belly and sighed in relief when the baby moved into a more comfortable position. Spock rubbed the area at which the baby kicked in slow, circular motions and kissed Kirk’s temple. Each touch and caress set Kirk’s blood on fire

Kirk couldn’t stop himself now. He maneuvered his cumbersome body to straddle Spock’s legs and placed his hands on Spock’s broad shoulders. Kirk pressed his belly into Spock’s flat belly and felt Spock’s cock harden against his own erection. He rocked his hips to create delicious friction between. They were going to ruin their boxers, but Kirk didn’t care.

“Are you certain you are well enough for sexual activity?” Spock gasped.

“I may be fucking huge and the baby active as hell, but you got me all hot and bothered,” Kirk laughed.

Kirk bent his head to bite Spock’s lips until they were swollen and red. Spock released a deep moan as he lifted Kirk’s shirt up further to feel more of his mate’s smooth, silky skin. Kirk then licked and nibbled along the curve of Spock’s right ear, paying special attention to the tip. Kirk smiled when he saw Spock blush green. 

“I’m not crushing you, am I?”

“Your weight is negligible, Jim.”

Kirk was going to argue and call bullshit, but Spock grabbed his hips and pulled him closer to him, preventing any kind of higher brain functions. Kirk parted his legs further to have better access to Spock’s erection. Kirk threw his head back and closed his eyes. Spock took that moment to bite his mate’s throat in an act of possession and domination. Spock didn’t often show that side of himself because he wanted Kirk to feel safe and free, but Kirk loved that secret side of him.

 Kirk’s thrusts became more desperate and needy and his nails dug into Spock’s clothed flesh. Kirk was right at the edge when Spock looked into his eyes, his pupils blown so much Kirk could see his reflection in them. The dark intensity of the Vulcan’s eyes was too much for Kirk. He shivered and dropped his head onto Spock’s shoulder and nuzzled his neck. Kirk felt warm pleasure from his belly expand outward to his extremities like a gentle wave. Spock came shortly after him with a quiet moan and a sated sigh.

Kirk and Spock stayed in their embrace for a while, enjoying the other’s touch and scent even when the mess in their boxers was cooling and drying.

“I am very happy you are on paternity leave.”

“As am I.”

“Even if it will be your responsibility to fulfill my every whim and desire before the baby’s born?”

“I believe as your husband it was already my responsibility to fulfill your every whim and desire, Jim.”

“I knew there was a reason why I married you, Spock.”  

Spock merely hummed in agreement and continued to hold Kirk in his arms. 


	9. Chapter 9

Nine months had passed since Kirk told Spock he was pregnant. The child was now able to live without the necessity of Kirk’s body, and it was only a matter of time before the child would be born. Spock checked constantly on his mate to ensure his health and comfort. He gave Kirk frequent back and abdomen massages to relieve some of the pain of having a healthy fetus occupy a lot of room in his body. Throughout the day and night, Kirk would have bouts of fatigue and energy which caused him to sleep and pace their quarters like a caged animal in irregular intervals.

Kirk was currently pacing back and forth while Spock reviewed ship’s business on a PADD. Spock kept Kirk appraised of important information while he alone dealt with day-to-day matters. After ten minutes, Kirk sat down on the bed and took a long drink of his water bottle.

“Spock?”

Spock looked up to see uncertainty on Kirk’s face. “Yes, Jim.”

“Are you going to be there when the baby’s born?”

In Vulcan culture, it was unusual for the father to attend the birth of a child, whereas in Terran culture, fathers were often present in order to provide support to their laboring mates. However, Spock personally believed that adherence to Vulcan traditions and norms was significantly less important than Kirk’s emotional and psychological well-being.

“Yes, I will be with you,” Spock said.

Kirk’s face and shoulders visibly relaxed. He then patted the space next to him on the bed and winked at Spock in an invitation. Spock set down his PADD and padded over to the bed. He sat close enough to Kirk so that their legs were touching. Kirk gave Spock an affectionate kiss before he rested his head on his husband’s shoulder. Spock took Kirk’s hand in his and lightly kissed it.

* * *

A week later, Sarek arrived to the _Enterprise_ from a shuttle. Spock and Kirk kept regular contact with Sarek after they told him about their marriage and impending parenthood. They sent him sonograms and updated information about the baby’s progressing length and weight.

Kirk and Spock stood in the transporter room to wait for Sarek. Kirk had to actually shave that morning, which was a shame because Kirk was beginning to like the look of facial hair on him, and Kirk had the sneaking suspicion Spock liked it, too. Too bad beards were non-regulation in Starfleet.

Mr. Scott walked in shortly after Kirk and Spock’s arrival.

“Captain! Mr. Spock! Good to see you, sirs!”

“Mr. Scott.”

“Hey, Scotty. Long time no see, buddy.”

“Getting pretty big, there, aren’t you, Captain?”

“Yes, Scotty, I know I’m huge,” said Kirk with a self-deprecatingly smile.

It had been awhile since Kirk saw Scotty and the rest of his chief officers, except for Dr. McCoy and Spock, of course. Kirk had missed them, but the final months of pregnancy made him anti-social. 

“Actually, Jim, the amount of weight you have gained is within normal parameters of a human male of your height and build," Spock interjected.

“See, Mr. Scott? Mr. Spock knows how to treat a pregnant man.” Kirk gave Mr. Scott a cheeky grin before shooting Spock a warm smile.

“Aye, laddie, so stop by Engineering to have a drink after your little one is born, alright?”

“Will do, Scotty.”

Mr.Scott patted Kirk’s shoulder and made his way to the transporter controls. Mr. Scott received Sarek’s coordinates and the okay from Kirk to beam him up.

Sarek materialized shortly after and stepped off the transporter pad. Kirk and Spock greeted the ambassador with the _ta’al_ , which Sarek reciprocated.

“Ambassador Sarek, we welcome you to the _Enterprise_ and we hope you enjoy your stay,” Kirk said, in diplomatic mode.

Kirk still had not learned how to behave with Sarek as a son-in-law instead of a captain. Hopefully that would soon change.

“Thank you, Captain Kirk. I trust you are well.”

“Yes, sir.”

Sarek turned to Spock for the first time since his arrival.

“I assume there is a reason why you have permitted your mate to leave his bed so close to the birth of your child,” said Sarek in a casual tone and a raised eyebrow.

Spock visibly stiffened and straightened at his father’s words. Kirk himself winced at the inference that Spock wasn’t fulfilling his responsibilities as a mate and as an expectant father.

“Sir, I wanted to greet you and welcome you aboard. Also, to be perfectly honest, I’ve always had a problem with being told what to do. I’m sure if it were up to Spock, I’d be strapped to the bed right now,” Kirk said casually while rubbing his neck.

Kirk tried to meet his husband’s eyes, but Spock refused to make eye-contact with him.

For a moment, the air was still and tense. Mr. Scott had taken Sarek’s passive scolding as a cue to leave. Kirk couldn't blame him.

Sarek's eyes left Spock's and returned to Kirk's.

“Please have Spock accompany to my quarters. I am in need of meditation.”

“Of course, Ambassador. Would you like me to come with you?”

“No, Captain, that will not be necessary.”

 “Would you care to join Spock and me for dinner at nineteen hundred hours?”

“Indeed. Thank you for the invitation.”

With that, Spock and Sarek left the transporter room. Kirk left out a huff of air before running a hand through his hair. Kirk had hoped Spock and Sarek would get along under the postive circumstances, but it looked like old wounds were hard to heal. 


	10. Chapter 10

Kirk was pacing the living area in his quarters waiting for Spock to come back. He should have been resting, but he had too much nervous energy to sit still. Kirk had hoped Sarek’s visit would bring the two Vulcans together due to the fact Sarek would soon become a grandfather and Spock a father. Kirk wanted Sarek to be in his baby’s life, and he was afraid that Spock and Sarek’s rocky relationship would deprive his kid of a grandfather. Kirk had fucking great memories with his grandparents from both sides of his family. Grandma Kirk was the one that gave him his first sip of alcohol when his mom wasn’t looking. He smiled at the memory.

Kirk finally sat down and began to write a letter his mom. Unfortunately, Commander Winona Kirk was on her own ship and could not meet her grandkid until their respective missions were over.

The sound of the door opening brought Kirk out of his thoughts. Kirk slowly got up and massaged his back a bit before walking over to Spock. He studied Spock’s face and winced when he saw his stormy eyes. Spock did not meet Kirk’s gaze or speak to him. He merely took out his lyre and sat cross-legged on top of the bed. He closed his eyes and began to play a dark and intense piece of music Kirk had not heard before. Kirk laid down on the sofa and closed his eyes as well. It was best to leave Spock on his own until he controlled his emotions and was able to speak.

Kirk must have slept because the next thing he knew, he was lying on the bed and Spock was kissing his neck from behind. Kirk rolled onto his back to look at Spock, and Spock took the opportunity to place a hand on Kirk’s large belly. Spock’s face was now relaxed and peaceful, and his eyes returned to their warm chocolate tone Kirk loved so much. Kirk bought a hand to Spock’s cheek and lightly caressed the soft skin. The Vulcan’s eyes fluttered closed as he savored his mate’s touches. Spock leaned down to kiss Kirk softly. The human smiled and pulled Spock closer into a deeper kiss. The Vulcan released a throaty moan and began rutting against Kirk. Kirk wanted to remove all of the barriers between his and Spock’s bodies, but when he reached for the hem of Spock’s shirt, Spock grabbed his hands in a firm yet gentle grip. Spock reached for Kirk’s shirt and divested his mate of it. The Vulcan took his time to devour his mate’s sensual and fertile body with his dark gaze. His human was going to give birth very soon, which meant he had to be very gentle. Spock peppered Kirk’s glowing skin with kisses and love bites. He then moved to remove Kirk’s slacks from his body, but Kirk stopped him. Spock looked up, eyebrow raised.

“I want to see you,” Kirk said in a low voice. Kirk’s eyes were glowing.

Spock slowly took off his shirts, and Kirk groaned at the sight of Spock’s lithe, strong torso. Dark hair dusted his cool, pale skin at his chest and tapered off down his flat belly and disappeared under his black pants.

“You are fucking gorgeous, you know that?” Kirk asked, breathlessly.

“You tell me quite often, Jim,” Spock practically purred. His eyes were blazing like burning coal.

Kirk held Spock’s gaze as he unbuttoned and unzipped Spock’s pants slowly and leisurely. Kirk placed a hand into Spock’s boxers and lightly caressed the Vulcan’s length. Kirk grinned at how hard it already was. Spock shivered and moaned at Kirk’s teasing touches. He batted his mate’s hand away and removed his own boxers and pants. The Vulcan then removed the last of Kirk’s clothing. The sight of Kirk’s nude body never ceased to entice Spock, especially now that Kirk’s body was so heavy and swollen with Spock’s offspring.

Kirk’s heavy cock was already leaking in anticipation. Spock bent down and lapped at the clear fluid and went on to swirl his tongue around the head of the penis. Kirk moved his hips to try to get Spock to take more of his erection into his mouth, but Spock’s skillful lips and tongue continued to only pay attention to the head and the opening at the end. Frustrated and unbelievably horny, Kirk brought his hands to his face and released a groan in defeat. Fortunately or unfortunately, Kirk couldn’t decide, Spock left his penis alone to grab a bottle of lube from their nightstand and covered his fingers with the substance. Kirk bit his lip and moaned in anticipation. Spock rested one hand on Kirk’s hip and brought his other hand to Kirk’s entrance. Spock deftly worked Kirk open while rubbing soothing circles into his hip. The Vulcan’s talented fingers grazed Kirk’s prostate and turned Kirk into a shuddering mess of whimpers and groans. He was complete putty in Spock’s hands.

“Spock! If you don’t get inside me soon –“ Kirk’s words were interrupted when Spock forcefully but carefully flipped him onto his belly.

Kirk braced himself on his forearms and allowed Spock to pull his ass upwards by his hips to remove the weight on his swollen belly. In one fluid motion, Spock entered his mate to the hilt and Kirk groaned at the feeling of being filled so completely. Spock inhaled and exhaled slowly to stave off his rapidly approaching orgasm. Kirk thrust his ass backwards to get Spock to move. Spock ignored his mate’s impatience and simply leaned forward to bite the spot where his neck met his shoulder, which made Kirk moan. Spock finally pulled out almost all the way and thrust back in, making sure he hit Kirk’s prostate head on. Spock continued thrusting in a steady rhythm into his mate’s receptive body while grasping his hips. Kirk’s body was tight and hot as it surrounded Spock’s erection, and Spock knew he wouldn’t last much longer. Spock nuzzled Kirk’s strong back and whispered strings of words in Vulcan.

Kirk was just a quivering mess at his point, mind lost in the sensations. He felt his arms shake in exertion and start to give out, which meant Kirk was about to land face-first onto the bed. Spock wrapped one arm around Kirk’s chest and the other around Kirk’s belly to support his tiring body. Kirk sighed in relief and thanked his lucky stars his husband was stronger than he was. Spock’s strength had gotten them out of a lot of jams.   

Kirk’s orgasm hit him hard, leaving him gasping for air and his body boneless. Kirk’s body spasmed around Spock, pushing him over the edge and into mindless bliss. The Vulcan almost collapsed onto Kirk, but he used the last of his energy to flip Kirk safely on his back. Spock moved to Kirk’s side before sinking into the bed with a groan. The two men rested for a couple minutes before Kirk turned to his side and faced Spock. He brought a hand to Spock’s soft hair and ran his fingers through it. Spock opened his eyes and moved closer to Kirk, urging him to continue.

“My father is still of the mindset I betrayed him by joining Starfleet in lieu of the Vulcan Science Academy.”

“But that happened more than ten years ago.”

“Indeed. Vulcans pride themselves on their adherence to logic and the banishment of emotions, yet emotions are able to create and influence far more than mere logic ever can.”

“Careful Spock, or someone would think you are questioning Surak.”

“Vulcans do indeed find peace in logic and Surak saved the Vulcan race from extinction. However, all decisions should not be based solely on logic.”

 “Yeah, I’m not so sure I was the most logical choice for you.”

Spock raised an eyebrow. “Indeed not.” He kissed Kirk on the corner of his mouth.

Kirk smiled and stretched out languidly on the bed, enjoying the pull of his muscles.

“I’m sorry about happened in the transporter room. I didn’t think my presence would cause such an uproar.”

“My father will no doubt find more faults with my actions and character during his stay and in the future. However, he was correct that you should be resting.”

“I promise I won’t leave these quarters while there is still a baby inside me, Spock. Except for Sickbay of course.”

Spock nodded. “Of course.”

Spock and Kirk showered and dressed, and Spock remade the bed while Kirk sat while admiring Spock’s great ass. Spock shot Kirk an unimpressed look while Kirk gave him the most innocent look he could muster, but the effect was lost when he started laughing. Spock allowed himself one sigh in exasperation before he walked over to kiss Kirk into a stupor. Spock was going to resume his task of making the bed when Kirk pulled Spock down next to him on the couch and pulled him into a bone-crushing hug if Spock were human.

“You are amazing, Spock. I only wish your dad could see that,” Kirk said into a pointed ear.

Spock relaxed into Kirk’s embrace and focused solely on his mate’s scent and the warmth his body radiated. Spock knew Kirk held him in very high regard, both personally and professionally, but it was comforting to hear it expressed aloud. Spock’s mother was indeed the more loving parent even though she had immersed herself into Vulcan culture. He had spent a great deal of his childhood trying to live up to Sarek’s expectations of him, but Sarek had never praised him. Spock was either met with no response or a criticism. Being the transporter room with his father had brought his feelings of inadequacy into the forefront of his mind.

Spock allowed himself to indulge in Kirk for another minute before he established some distance between their bodies. He brought a hand to his mate’s swollen abdomen to feel his child move. Remembering his own childhood had greatly reinforced his philosophies of childrearing.

“Thank you, Jim.” Spock looked into Kirk’s eyes and walked to the bed to finish making it.

Kirk sighed and relaxed into the couch before Sarek arrived. The chef at the galley was making _plomeek_ soup and _pok tar_. Ever since Kirk was able to keep food down during the fourth month of pregnancy, he had had an appetite for Vulcan food. Kirk made sure to program the replicator to create Vulcan food, as well as giving the chef Vulcan recipes. Spock responded by giving him a large collection of print books from the 19 th and 20th centuries. Kirk had spent the majority of his medical leave with his face in a book thanks to his new reading material.

When Spock was finished, he opted to meditate to prepare for dinner with his father. Spock ordered his mind and observed all of the emotions he had felt that day. He felt anger and shame due to his father’s comment and cold attitude toward him as he led him to his quarters. Spock released his negative emotions one by one, which allowed him to sink into a peaceful state. He then observed his positive emotions and basked in their warmth. Spock did not release these emotions from his mind, instead he wrapped them around himself like a blanket. He had been taught that he should acknowledge his emotions before casting them out of his mind, including positive emotions, in order to remain with cold logic. However, when he joined Starfleet, he held on to every feeling of contentment, however brief or fleeting. Now, Spock had countless moments to fill him with comfort until his last breath.

Shortly after, Spock and Kirk were seated at the table with Sarek eating their meal. At the first bite, Kirk sighed in happiness at finally having food. The previous activities and his current state had made him very hungry. The rest of dinner was spent in tense silence. Kirk usually spoke during meal times, but he chose to observe the Vulcan norm of silence. Spock cleared the table when they finished and brought tea for himself and Sarek and more water for Kirk.

“Are you prepared for the birth of your child, Captain?” Sarek asked.

“Yeah, we have everything ready for the baby.” Kirk grabbed Spock’s hand and held it under the table. “I never thought I would say this but baby clothing is pretty adorable.”

“And the birth itself?”

“Bones – I mean Dr. McCoy – has taught me some breathing techniques and filled me in on what to expect.” Kirk’s smile was strained.

“Fascinating that a number of human males have inherited the genetic mutation in order to develop the necessary organs for childbearing.”

“You can imagine my surprise when my mom told me I had a uterus and a birth canal and funky internal plumbing. Never imagined they would actually be put to use.”

“You did not wish to procreate?

“No. All I ever wanted was to be captain, but when I found out I was pregnant I warmed up to the idea of parenthood.” Kirk placed a hand on top of his round belly.

Sarek took a long sip of tea from his cup.

“How have you decided how to raise my grandchild?”

Kirk looked at Spock and squeezed his hand.

“As the child is predominately human, we will be using Terran childrearing techniques,” Spock said.

“You will deny your child its Vulcan heritage, Spock?”

“On the contrary. Our child will be taught Vulcan and learn of Vulcan’s history and contributions to the Federation and to science. However, Jim and I will teach our child to embrace his or her emotion. Surak and his teachings will be explained at length, but adherence to logic will not be enforced unless our child chooses that path.”

“And will you abandon the Vulcan way of life in order to raise your child?”

Spock almost sighed in frustration. “No, I have chosen to honor the Vulcan way and I will continue to do so. However, this child may need a human approach to parenting in order to thrive. Also, I would not expect Jim to adopt Vulcan culture as his own.”

“Passing on Vulcan culture and traditions onto the next generations is the primary priority of a Vulcan parent.”

Kirk clenched his teeth and tried to calm himself. “Really? Making sure a kid is the perfect Vulcan is what’s the most important?

“Yes, even more important now due to the fact the Vulcan race is near extinction. Maintaining our way of life is vital now more than ever, even among Vulcan hybrids. Which brings me to my proposal.”

Kirk had a knot of thick, oily anger in the pit of his stomach. He quickly glanced at Spock, and wasn’t surprised to see that his eyes had blackened.

“What do you propose, Father?” Spock asked.

“I propose you allow me to raise your child on New Vulcan.”

Kirk couldn’t speak. Something old and primal inside him was roaring.

“And what would be the benefit of the child being raised on the colony?” Spock’s voice was becoming strained.

“The child would be raised in a strictly Vulcan environment, which would allow the child to more easily learn and demonstrate the tenets of Surak’s teachings. Furthermore, New Vulcan would provide a much safer environment in which to grow than a starship.”

Kirk’s rate of breathing increased, and panic overtook his mind. He worked hard to get air into his lungs, but it was becoming almost impossible. Sweat ran down his temple as his sight and hearing became tunneled. A hot burst of pain ran up his spine and knocked the wind out of him.

Finally, Kirk became aware of Spock calling his name. He turned his head and made eye contact with Spock. Spock bolted from his seat and called Sickbay. 


	11. Chapter 11

Kirk had a fun childhood. He spent hot, humid summers running through the cornfields with his friends and stargazing on the roof. The school year was spent blowing off easy homework and falling asleep in class. When he got home from school, his mother was there to greet him with a smile and a new computer science project she created for him to occupy his overactive brain.

He wanted his kid to have the childhood he enjoyed. He and Spock had spoken at length about what to do after their five-year mission, and they agreed to take sabbatical on Earth. They would buy a house in San Francisco, or maybe even stay in Kirk’s house in Riverside. It wasn’t decided on, yet, but wherever they lived a big yard was a must. A yard big enough to play catch and run around with a dog.

Kirk and Spock would find something to do for Starfleet. Spock could get a teaching or research position at the Academy and Kirk could find a computer science position or teach Security cadets how to take down angry, 350-pound Klingons without the luxury of a phaser. Their daughter or son would be left with the best caretaker they could possibly get, and Kirk would come running home every day to spend time with his kid.

His mother was his only role model for being a parent, but Kirk couldn’t have asked for any better. She had had a lot on her plate as a single parent to an adventurous and curious boy who was born the same her husband sacrificed his life, but she always made the best of it. She worked at the shipyard in Riverside as an engineer with flexible hours and damn good pay. Winona was sometimes called into space for weeks or months at a time, but she always came back with a smile and a hug and stories to tell.

He had to admit though, Kirk would sometimes panic at the thought of taking care of a life that would be so dependent on him. Sure, he felt responsible for the lives of his crew, but they were adults who chose to be under his command and join Starfleet. Kirk’s kid was stuck with him, so Kirk was going to be the best dad he could be. 


	12. Chapter 12

Another contraction tore through Kirk’s body. He gritted his teeth and clenched his eyes shut as a vice-like grip took hold of his back and pelvis. When the pain receded, Kirk gasped for air and relaxed into the bed. He opened his eyes and saw McCoy looking at his and the baby’s vitals. McCoy caught his eye and nodded.

“You’re doing fine, kid. Try to focus on breathing during the next contraction, alright?”

Kirk gave Bones a weak smirk. “Yeah, let’s see if you remember so well in my place, Bones.”

Bones rolled his eyes and shook his head.

Kirk turned his head to look at Spock, who was seated in a chair next to his bed. His eyes were closed and his hands rested on his knees. Spock was the perfect picture of serenity, but Kirk knew there was a storm raging beneath the calm façade.

“Spock.”

Spock slowly opened his eyes and took a deep breath.

“Hey, are you freaking out about almost being a daddy, yet?” Kirk smiled boyishly. He tried to dissipate the bitter taste dinner had left behind.

“Forgive me, Jim. I do not think I am able to accompany you.”

Kirk’ smile left his face. He sat up and tried to reach for Spock’s hand, but it was too far away. Kirk began to shake.

“I want you to be here with me, okay? I need you now more than ever, Spock.”

Spock merely looked down at the ground and swallowed and clenched his fists. He wanted nothing more than to stay with Kirk to provide support and comfort, but he was concerned his dark and violent emotions would disturb him. Spock dared a glance at his mate’s eyes and felt ice cold when he saw fear. Spock was about to stay when he felt ugly emotions continue to boil underneath his skin.

“I – I cannot be here, Jim. Please forgive me.” Spock stood up and made eye-contact with McCoy. “You will take care of him, Leonard, and you will take care of my child.” He did not leave room for argument.

Spock left Sickbay.

* * *

 

Spock was in his former quarters. The cabin was cold, devoid of any life or any evidence of life. He wanted to destroy, to feel things break and shatter within his trembling hands until there was nothing left. He wanted to break every shield he had built in his mind and let his emotions free in violent chaos. Spock wanted to become the Vulcan biology had intended, not the Vulcan ruled by unbearable constraint and denial. To protect and take what was his and fight whoever dared stand in his way.

His body trembled with adrenaline, needing physical release of his overwhelming rage and guilt. Spock couldn’t contain himself anymore. He released a brutal yell and punched the wall with everything that he had. Pain shot up his arm and up his shoulder, but it felt good. It felt good to express his emotions in such a violent way. He needed this. Spock continued hitting the wall, and he felt satisfaction at inflicting dents into it. Thoughts and words escaped him, and all that was left was single-minded emotion. It was liberating and cathartic to actually allow himself to feel so intensely and turn that emotion into physical power. The pain in his arms melted into the background, and the cool blood from his knuckles did nothing to deter him.

Behind his molten eyes he replayed his father’s plan to take his child away from him, away from his mate who had fought so hard to keep both himself and his child alive. Jim, who had nearly sacrificed himself for the chance he and the baby would survive. Spock roared in anger and grief. He couldn’t even be with his mate as he labored in pain to give life to their child. The child Spock had always wanted. He couldn’t control and extinguish his agony at the thought of his child being taken away from him. Spock would only taint and tarnish the birth of his child with his toxicity. Jim needed a calm, peaceful environment with those who would only support him and give him strength, not take it away.

Spock knew Sarek’s proposal had caused Kirk to panic and go into labor. The child was fully developed, but Spock would have preferred for Kirk to be resting and relaxed with Spock attending to his every want and need. Seeing Kirk with fear in his as he grasped his belly with shaking hands had awoken something ancient and hostile.

Spock finally collapsed against the beaten wall and sank unto the floor. He breathed heavily and his chest heaved at every inhalation. He was suddenly very exhausted and worn. Spock’s mind was blissfully at peace now, free of his destructive rage, but his peace was soon interrupted by an unwelcomed visitor.

McCoy stood tall in the almost vacant cabin. “What the _hell_ do you think you’re doing here?”

Spock raised an eyebrow and worked to stand up. “I could ask you the same thing, Doctor. I believe I told you to look after Jim.” His voice was hoarse, and green blood dripped unto the floor from his hand.

McCoy sighed and crossed his arms. “Spock, Jim needs you with him. His blood pressure is up and he’s nervous as hell. I know your dad said something to piss you off, but you need to be with Jim.”

Spock felt guilt churn in his belly. He lifted up his damaged hands. “I do not wish Jim to see.”

“Jesus, Spock,” McCoy swore. “And they say Vulcans don’t have emotions.” He took out his ever present med kit and grabbed a bone and skin regenerator. He gently took Spock’s hand and set to work. “I swear, you are just as self-destructive as Jim is.”

“I believe those days are over for both of us, Leonard.”

McCoy scoffed. “Better be, but Sickbay will be pretty damn quiet without you two bleeding all over the place. There, your hands are as good as new.”

Spock inspected his mended hands with approval. “Thank you.”

“Come on. Let’s make you a dad.” McCoy clapped a hand on Spock’s shoulder and smiled. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...the baby is almost here. Should it be a girl or a boy?
> 
> Thank you for reading, you beautiful people!


	13. Chapter 13

Kirk was left in the care of Christine Chapel, a damn good nurse and one of the only staff in Sickbay who could keep McCoy in line. She had the bedside manner of an angel and the spirit of a lion or a tiger. Chapel was brave and determined, but she was not one to be messed with. Her bite was worse than her bark, to put it lightly, which made her more daunting than McCoy’s biteless bark.  

Kirk didn’t know how he could continue. The contractions knocked the wind out of him and it felt like his body was going to break in half. On top of all that, his husband had gone AWOL to deal with the shit storm his father had left. Thankfully, Chapel offered to hold his hand and offer him encouragements, but he felt alone without Spock.

He howled and gripped the sheets until his knuckles were bone white. Kirk tried to focus on his breathing, but the pain was too fucking much. He sighed in relief when the contraction passed.

“How the hell do people do this, Chapel?”

“Some people get the really good drugs while others curse the day their partners were born, Captain.”

Kirk smiled but then he felt a heaviness in his chest and a lump in his throat. His eyes began to tear up and burn. Kirk immediately wiped his eyes, trying to get rid of the evidence, but a sob escaped his throat. He yelled in frustration and anger. His body began to shake as his emotions took over. Chapel rubbed Kirk’s back to calm him down.

“What the fuck is wrong with me?” Kirk released a humor-less laugh.

“Let’s see, your husband left you alone to give birth to his baby, your father-in-law is Vulcan, you have a huge belly, and you are in labor for the first time. No wonder your emotions are going haywire,” Chapel deadpanned with a smile.

Kirk genuinely laughed but stopped when another contraction took hold of his body. He put a hand on his tight belly and focused on the fact that the end result to all this pain was more than worth it. Breathing came easier to him now that he knew what to expect.

“Thanks, Chris. I needed that. I’m glad I’m not going crazy.”

Chapel gave him a reassuring smile and squeezed his hand. Kirk closed his eyes to rest. He was exhausted and decided to at least achieve a small doze before things really started happening. He took advantage of the fact he was able to sleep in between contractions.

Kirk was awoken from one of his naps when he felt a large hand rest on his belly and a kiss on his forehead. Kirk opened his eyes to see Spock. Spock looked exhausted, and frankly he looked like hell, but God he was the most beautiful thing Kirk had ever seen. Kirk wrapped his arms around his husband’s waist and pulled him closer. He buried his face in the Vulcan’s flat belly and smiled when he felt Spock’s hand in his hair. Fuck, he really missed Spock’s presence.

Tears began to well up in Kirk’s eyes again. Spock had never seen Kirk cry before, and he wasn’t too comfortable with the thought of crying in front of him now. He released his hold on Spock and wiped his face roughly with his hands until a pair of hands grabbed his. Hiding was impossible now. Tears flowed freely down his face as he finally made eye contact with Spock.

“Sorry, just an emotional human being emotional,” Kirk said, trying to make light the fact he was crying.

Spock carefully sat down at the edge of the bed and continued to hold Kirk’s hands.

“Do not apologize for a expressing a valid emotional reaction. You have been placed under great stress, and I am afraid I have added further to that stress. However, it was necessary for me to distance myself.”

Kirk nodded. “Yeah, you looked like you were going to murder someone,” Kirk laughed.

His laugh was interrupted by a contraction. He squeezed Spock’s hands tightly and concentrated on his breathing and the feel of Spock’s slightly calloused hands against his. Kirk was then aware of a calm that definitely wasn’t his, but he embraced it and felt the pain lessen and recede to the back of his mind.

“Thanks, Spock. If you continue that I won’t need any of those happy drugs,” Kirk sighed when the contraction ended.

“I will continue, but you must ask for pain medicine if you need it.”

Kirk wrapped his arms around Spock and pulled him close. He smiled when he felt Spock hug him back. Kirk felt so much better now that Spock was with him again. Now if only their baby would hurry up and enter the universe. He stiffened as he remembered Sarek’s proposal and pulled back to look Spock right in the eye.

“We're going to raise this baby and we will determine how it is raised. I am not going to give up our baby to anyone, Spock.”

Spock’s eyes darkened for a moment and laid a possessive hand on Kirk’s tightened belly. “Our child will always be in our care, Jim. That is not something you need to worry about.”

“I know, I know,” Kirk sighed as the fight left his tired body.

He just wanted to spend some quality time with Spock before their lives changed forever. Kirk’s hand joined Spock’s on his belly and he interlaced their fingers together. His good mood came back but the couple was interrupted.

“Alright, you lovebirds. Someone here is way overdue for a check-up,” McCoy said.

Spock left the bed and sat in the chair he had left earlier.

“Alright, Jimbo, spread your legs wide.”

“I bet you tell all your patients that, Bonesy.” Kirk winked.

“Only the pregnant ones.” McCoy put on gloves and continued with the examination. “Good news. You are five centimeters dilated which is right on track. Just five more to go and you’ll be on your way to pushing a new hobgoblin into the world.”

“Ah, I am gratified to see my child has inherited my name,” Spock said flatly with eyebrow raised.

Kirk barked out a laugh and even McCoy chuckled at Spock’s joke.

Labor continued for six more hours without excitement except for a few colorful curses in many different languages from the man of the hour otherwise known as Jim Kirk. Even though Spock telepathically relieved some of Kirk’s pain, the contractions were becoming more intense and closer together which meant feeling some pain was unavoidable.

“You are so having the next one, Commander,” Kirk gritted out.

“I’m afraid that’s not possible, Captain. Furthermore, I was not aware we would be having a second child.”

“Don’t count on it but if we do, it won’t be for many years because that’s how long you won’t be allowed near _this_ fine ass.”

“Indeed? I believe your self-restraint is severely lacking when it comes to my person, sir.”

“You want to bet on it, Mr. Spock?”

“I do not believe you have the funds necessary to pay me the full amount, Jim."

Kirk laughed brightly and smiled so wide his face hurt.

“Have I ever told you how much I love you?

“On numerous occasions, and the sentiment is mutual.” 

Kirk’s eyes started to water, but thankfully Spock didn't comment.

When it became time to push, Kirk was equal parts terrified and excited as hell to finally meet his baby. Spock climbed onto the bed to sit behind Kirk with his long legs on either side of him. Spock held one of Kirk’s hands while his other hand rubbed soothing circles onto Kirk’s belly. He kissed Kirk’s temple before he sent an impression of calm through their skin contact.   

Thirty minutes later of pushing and words of encouragement from Spock and McCoy, Kirk slumped back against Spock’s chest in an exhausted heap. A few seconds later a baby’s cries were heard, and Kirk managed to push himself up with trembling arms and some help from Spock. McCoy carefully placed a small bundle in Kirk’s arms. Kirk felt like the wind was knocked out of him as he looked at his baby. Kirk was happy to see that the newborn had a small patch of dark hair on its head and delicately pointed ears. He was hoping his kid would inherit Spock’s features. Kirk was also glad to find that his baby had ten fingers and ten toes and was perfectly healthy. He felt his eyes burn and water for the umpteenth time since going into labor. Kirk carefully turned around and placed the warm bundle into Spock’s waiting arms. Kirk looked at Spock’s face and smiled at the awe on his husband’s face. Spock’s eyes met Kirk’s, and Spock immediately leaned forward to heatedly kiss his mate. Kirk placed a hand on Spock’s face and enthusiastically responded to the kiss.

“Hey! Don’t you want to know the sex of your baby?” McCoy’s face was a frightening mix of excitement and annoyance.

“Oh! Yeah, go ahead, Bones.”

McCoy looked very disappointed, but said happily, “It’s a girl!”

The edges of Spock’s mouth curled upward into a small smile as he looked at his daughter. Kirk gently stroked his baby’s perfectly chubby cheek with his index finger.

“She is going to kick some major behind when she grows up.”

“I agree, even though I prefer a pacifist approach to problem solving.”

Kirk kissed his husband’s cheek and continued to marvel at his daughter.   

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The baby is here! And yes, Jim and Spock's baby will be named in the next chapter. 
> 
> Thank you for reading!


	14. Chapter 14

Kirk was sleeping soundly and deeply after the birth of their daughter, and said daughter was sleeping as well after being fed nutrient-rich milk made specifically for babies of parents who cannot breastfeed. Spock spends at least an hour holding his child, sending warmth and affection through tactile contact. He softly sings a lullaby his mother used to sing to him when he was very young. It had always provided him comfort and assurance.

Spock lightly placed his fingers on her psi points and noticed that she was not psi null as Spock expected she would be. She would most likely be able to sense surface thoughts and emotions through touch, but it was doubtful she would be able to initiate mind melds. He then formed a parental bond with her. When Spock undergoes _pon farr_ Kirk and Spock will be able to establish a marital bond, Kirk will also be bonded to their child through Spock. He smiles softly as he feels his daughter experience peace and blissful unawareness of the universe. Spock also felt completely at peace due to the fact that both his mate and child were healthy and safe.

He then heard the approach of another being. Spock reluctantly looked up from his daughter’s face and saw Sarek walking toward him. Sarek stood before him and peered at his grandchild. Spock wanted to shield her from the man who had offered to raise her. He knew his father would never take her away without explicit consent, but right now Spock had little reason to trust him completely either.

“Is your child well?” Sarek asked.

“She is indeed hale, as is Jim.”

Sarek briefly nods. “I gather my proposal has been met with resistance,” Sarek stated, rather than asked.

“Correct. Jim and I will raise our daughter as we see fit, and you will not have contact with her unless you respect that fact,” Spock said.

He placed his daughter in the incubator to keep her warm and out of Sarek’s reach and faced his father.

“Furthermore, it was inappropriate to make your suggestion so near the end of Jim’s pregnancy. You should have been aware that negative and strong emotions are able to induce early labor in pregnant humans. It was fortunate Amanda was not born premature.”

Sarek’s facial expression stuttered and changed to show an emotion Spock was not able to read. Spock had almost let go of his anger.

“You named your daughter after your mother?”

“It seemed fitting to honor Mother’s memory in such a way if the child was female.”

Sarek sat down and Spock mirrored his action. “I would like to hold my granddaughter.” When Spock failed to move, Sarek softly added, “Please.”

Spock finally took Amanda out of the incubator and placed her in Sarek’s arms. Amanda made a soft whine at being moved, but she settled back into her blankets and fell back to sleep.  

“You will apologize to Jim when he wakes and you will assure him you have no intention of taking Amanda from him,” Spock said firmly but softly.

Sarek continued to look at his granddaughter. “You have my word.”


	15. Chapter 15

Kirk woke up and he felt like a starship had run him over. Several times. He groaned and tried to sit up, but his abdomen was sore as hell. When Kirk brought his hand to his belly he expected to come in contact with a large, round bump and his baby’s kicks and squirms, but all he felt was soft flesh. He felt unbearably empty. Kirk sat up and opened his eyes, looking for Spock. He then relaxed when he saw Spock holding their daughter while talking with McCoy. Amanda. That’s what they named their little girl. Kirk was glad he could finally meet his daughter, but he had to admit that feeling her move inside him was pretty breathtaking. Having Spock fawn over his belly was definitely a plus as well.

McCoy realized Kirk was awake and alerted Spock, who walked over with Amanda in tow. He transferred the newborn into Kirk’s arms. Kirk couldn’t help but coo like those annoying people who always went a little loony at the presence of a baby. Damn, he was one of _them_ now. It was almost scary how much power this tiny being had over him, but Kirk wasn’t exactly complaining. Kirk bent down and kissed his baby softly on the cheek.

“Hey, little one. Welcome to the _Enterprise_. I’m Captain Kirk, but I also go by Daddy or Dad.”

“Wouldn’t Mommy be more appropriate?” Bones retorted with a grin.  

“Seeing as Jim identifies as male, the male designator for ‘parent’ is more applicable,” said Spock.

“With a face like that, she can call me whatever she wants,” Kirk said.

Spock sat on the bed next to Kirk so that their bodies were touching. He put his arm around Kirk’s waist and pulled him closer to his body.

“What about you, Spock. What do you want her to call you?” Kirk asked.

“Perhaps Father or _Sa-mekh_ ,” Spock replied. 

Spock’s voice sounded relaxed, almost happy. Kirk craned his neck to look at Spock’s face and saw a peace that wasn’t often there before. On duty, Spock was the perfect image of military decorum and Vulcan severity. Off duty, Spock’s spine was less stiff and his eyes were warmer but he still adamantly strove to act and behave fully Vulcan. Even in the safety of their quarters Spock often tried to keep up appearances while still making sure to be affectionate with Kirk. After Amanda’s birth, however, Spock seemed at ease with himself, as if a burden had been lifted. 

Spock met his eyes and leaned in to give Kirk a sensual kiss. Kirk grinned and looked at Spock’s relaxed face. Fatherhood definitely suited him.

Amanda then began to cry and squirm in Kirk’s arms. For a moment Kirk began to panic, thinking that he had done something to hurt her. McCoy thankfully came over with a warm bottle of milk and handed it to Kirk. Kirk began to calm down when his daughter started suckling on the bottle peacefully.

Kirk had another reason to tense up when Sarek walked into Sickbay. He held his baby closer to his chest as he continued to feed Amanda. Kirk looked at Spock to see his reaction, but Spock seemed only mildly interested in Sarek’s approach. Spock’s hand at his hip softly caressed the area in an attempt to soothe him.                

“Jim, if I may speak to you.”

“You may.”

“I wish to apologize to you for any distress I have caused you during our conversation. It was indelicate of me to speak of the subject in your condition.”

“Thanks, Sarek, but if it still your intention is to take Amanda way – “

“No, I observed how much hurt the idea of someone else raising your child caused you and my son. At the time, it seemed to be a logical plan but I see I was mistaken.”

“I know you want her to be raised as a Vulcan but we don’t think that that is what is best for our daughter due to the fact she is mostly human and I am human. But rest assured, Sarek, she will know everything there is to know about Vulcan and its people.”

Sarek nodded in agreement. “That is indeed fair.”

Kirk relaxed and let Sarek hold Amanda. “You of course will help in that area seeing as you are an expert in that regard.”

“I would be honored.”

* * *

 

The bridge crew came in one after the other to greet the new member of the _Enterprise_ crew. Chekov came in boasting how he was the oldest of the children in his family and that it had been his responsibility to care for the youngest siblings and cousins. He offered to take care of Amanda when Kirk and Spock needed “adult time.” Sulu on the other hand, looked frightened as hell to be holding a baby, which gave Kirk a good laugh.

“Just hold her like you’re doing now and nothing bad will happen!” Kirk insisted.

Sulu lost his nerve, however, and quickly passed Amanda to Uhura. Spock and Uhura had kept their relationship professional and cordial while Kirk had formed a friendship with Uhura based on swapping good-natured insults, espresso, and yoga.

“I’m going to spoil her rotten. I hope you guys knew that already. And when I’m done with her, she will be fluent in every Federation language and Klingon for good measure.”

“I wouldn’t expect anything less on both accounts. Just wait until she’s a bit older to teach her the swear words, okay?”

Scotty came in with excited energy and made a bee line to Amanda. “Now isn’t she the prettiest little lass you ever did see!”

“I thought you didn’t like babies, Scotty.”

“I can’t stand the crying, but when they are peaceful like this I don’t mind ‘em.”

Just then Amanda got upset and started crying. Scotty automatically passed the newborn to Spock, who held his daughter gently and rocked her back to sleep.

“I guess the little one doesn’t like me very much,” Scotty said, looking a bit sad.

“Amanda is not old enough to like or dislike individuals, but I recommend having a peaceful disposition when in her presence,” said Spock.

“Ah, so does that mean I have to be good and drunk?”

Spock raised an eyebrow and glanced at Kirk with trepidation. Kirk took that as his cue to step in.

“No, Scotty, just relax. Take a deep breath. She was just born, which means she has no teeth to bite you with.”

Scotty sighed, and took a deep breath to steel himself. He stepped forward and Spock reluctantly handed him Amanda. Both Spock and Scotty were expecting something bad to happen, but after a couple minutes without any reportable incidents, both men relaxed.

Scotty gave Kirk an ecstatic grin. “I did it, Captain!”

Spock and Kirk sighed as Amanda began to cry. 


	16. Chapter 16

The first time Kirk and Spock had sex was awkward as hell, but it was fucking perfect.

Kirk had just returned to his quarters after playing basketball with some of his Security officers and Sulu. His black t-shirt was soaked threw and his shorts were way too hot on his overheated body. Sure, Kirk could have showered in the locker room, but he wanted to take a long shower and jack-off. Kirk took a big gulp of water when Spock came in.

“I would kiss you but I don’t think you want to get sweat on your pristine uniform.”

“I would not mind.”

Kirk raised an eyebrow and studied Spock’s face. Of course he was telling the truth. He would have made it known if he found human sweat gross and vile. So Kirk wrapped a hand around the back of Spock’s head and pulled him in for a heated kiss. Spock obviously wanted more contact because he grabbed a handful of Kirk’s round, firm backside and brought his body closer to his. Kirk’s breath hitched at both the feeling of Spock’s hand and the fact Spock was being so forward. Usually, Spock would stop them before anything became too heated.

“Someone’s grabby today,” Kirk said playfully. He also let curiosity color his voice.

Spock abruptly distanced himself. “I apologize, Jim, I should not have taken such liberties.”

Kirk snorted. “Spock, that’s not it,” Kirk laughed. “You’re the one who wanted to take things slow. Which I’m more than fine with, by the way. I want you to be comfortable with what we do.”

“I admit, it was not a matter of comfort. I merely wanted us to develop a deeper emotional connection before introducing sexual intimacy into our relationship.”

The couple had been in a relationship for more than a month, and it had been spent getting to know each other better and setting the boundaries between their professional and personal relationships. It was also spent determining physical boundaries. They were, however, more than okay with kissing.

Kirk already trusted Spock with his life, and it was becoming apparent that they were compatible in the romantic sense. Their friendship had already determined that their personalities complimented each other.

“And how would you rate our emotional connection?” Kirk asked with a smile.

Kirk closed the distance between them. He brought two hands to Spock’s torso and ran them down his sides. Spock steadily held Kirk’s gaze. The Vulcan didn’t outwardly respond to Kirk’s touches, but Kirk could tell Spock was enjoying the attention.   

“I find our relationship thus far more than satisfactory, Jim.”

Spock put his arms around Kirk’s waist while he nosed Kirk’s cheek. Kirk grinned and fully relaxed against Spock, feeling arousal bloom from his belly. He looked at Spock’s face and saw green dusting his cheeks and ears. Kirk was also pleased to notice that Spock’s pupils had dilated and that Spock was hard. The Vulcan was naturally gorgeous, but he looked absolutely amazing when he was aroused. Kirk reconnected their swollen lips. He paid special attention to Spock’s full bottom lip, which he bit and sucked into his mouth. Spock groaned and began rocking his hips against Kirk.

“Fuck. Are we going to do this? You want to?” Kirk was getting breathless.

“Yes,” Spock hissed. The Vulcan’s body was trembling in need.

“Shh, Baby. I’m going to take very good care of you,” Kirk purred in Spock’s ear.

Kirk pulled off both of Spock’s shirts, and he couldn’t help but admire Spock’s toned torso and powerful arms. He met dark, piercing eyes for permission.

“You may touch me, Jim,” Spock rumbled.

Kirk ran his hands through soft chest hair while he nibbled on Spock’s ear. He then pressed his lips along Spock’s strong jaw line and down his neck. Kirk’s hands then found themselves at Spock’s belt. He kissed Spock’s shoulder as he undid the belt and his pants. Kirk pulled them down, but they could not be removed due to the fact Spock still had his boots and socks on. Kirk lowered himself onto his knees and methodically removed the Vulcan’s footwear while admiring Spock’s long, muscular legs and the dark hair that covered most of his body. He greeted newly exposed flesh with kisses, licks, and nips. Finally, Spock was left in his regulation boxers. Kirk’s breath started to quicken at what laid underneath.

Kirk had seen Spock naked many times, but showering after an intense sparring session in a crowded locker room and frantically changing clothes during undercover missions didn’t hold the same weight as getting naked in order to have sex.

He stood up and placed a soft kiss on Spock’s cheek. Then, Spock’s fingers were at the hem of Kirk’s shirt. In one motion Kirk’s shirt was off. The human could practically feel the Vulcan’s dark gaze on his naked torso. Kirk gasped as he felt Spock’s teeth at the juncture of his neck and shoulder. Spock’s right hand was on the left side of his chest, right over his rapidly beating heart, and Spock abandoned the base of his neck to trail kisses down his chest to his firm belly. Spock was on his knees, eye-level with his erection and ready to remove his shorts.

Kirk’s stomach then plummeted. He hadn’t told Spock.

“Uhh…” Kirk began.

“Jim?”

Spock stood up and placed his hands on Kirk’s hips. The dark, intense look had left Spock’s face and in its wake was a soft, concerned expression. Kirk almost wanted to cry at how fucking caring and kind Spock was. Kirk had had been in relationships before, but being with Spock was entirely different. The Vulcan was steady and reliable and honest, someone who didn’t play games or beat around the bush.

“I’m one of those mutated guys who can get pregnant,” Kirk said bluntly, trying to be casual about it.

He hadn’t told his former girlfriends and boyfriends about his extra set of reproductive organs. There really wasn’t a reason to. Most of them ended after a few months, and they were usually casual. Also, Kirk hadn’t fully accepted the fact that he was essentially both sexes in one body. He could impregnate and be impregnated. When he was a teenager, Kirk had even thought of removing his uterus and having his birth canal completely sewn so that there wasn’t any trace of it. His mother, however, had convinced him not to go through with the surgery by encouraging him to let go of his perspective that he was less of a man or defective. But even after coming to terms with his biology for the most part, Kirk was extremely secretive about it and wasn’t that comfortable talking about it. On the other hand, Spock needed to know if they were going to invest time and effort into a relationship. Come to think of it, Kirk probably should have told Spock right when they began their relationship, or even before the start of their mission.

Kirk looked at Spock’s face for any signs of disgust or distaste. What he saw, however, was surprise and curiosity.

“Fascinating,” said Spock in an inflectionless tone.

Anger struck Kirk like lightning. “If you even think of treating me like one of your experiments get the fuck out of here!”

Kirk was trembling with rage. He should have known Spock would look at him like some kind of newly discovered species that needed to be poked and prodded like the scientist he was. Kirk shuddered at the thought of Spock caging him and dissecting him for the sake of science.

But then he felt a hand on his naked shoulder. The hand was gentle, firm. It immediately brought Kirk back from his thoughts of mad scientists and sadistic experiments. He had stopped trembling, and his anger was fading. Kirk met Spock’s eyes again and this time he saw determination and strength.

“You are mistaken, Jim. I do not see you as a potential test subject. I have read many articles on the mutation and that many human males with this mutation have safely given birth to healthy infants. I did not intend to offend you.” His voice calm and smooth, deep and warm.

Kirk took a deep breath and relaxed further, concentrating on the feel of Spock’s hand.

“I’m sorry for yelling at you like that. I uh…I’m kind of sensitive about it, as you just saw.” Kirk rubbed the back of his neck. “You’re the only other person besides Bones, some other doctors, and my mom who knows.”

Spock’s face softened. “I am honored.”

Kirk gave him a small smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes. Spock noticed this and tried another approach.

“This does not make you less attractive in my perspective. Nor does this affect my view of you as an authority figure. The fact that you are able to gestate and birth offspring is merely another characteristic of your, shall I say, alluring body.”

Kirk laughed and smiled in earnest. “Thanks, Spock.”

Kirk stepped forward and hugged Spock, relishing the feeling of the Vulcan’s skin against his. Later, Kirk would appreciate his complex body and be proud of the fact he could create new life within himself. But for now, Kirk just wanted to feel good and make Spock feel good. He turned his head and nibbled on Spock’s ear, and grinned in glee when Spock moaned. Vulcan ears were definitely erogenous zones.

Spock then picked up Kirk bridal style and set him on the bed. Kirk moved to pull down Spock’s boxers, but the Vulcan easily pinned his hands down at his sides.

“Relax,” said Spock. He gave the human a quick kiss on the lips before kissing his neck.

Kirk almost wanted to whine in defiance like a kid but he relax into the bed and allowed Spock to take control. Kirk turned his head to give Spock more skin to kiss. Spock kissed a particularly sensitive spot, which made Kirk groan and curl his toes in pleasure. The Vulcan kissed his way down Kirk’s chest until he reached his puckered nipples. Spock ran his tongue around a nub and bit lightly before giving the same attention to its twin. Kirk brought a hand to Spock’s hair and ran his fingers through the soft, ink black strands.

Finally, Spock’s hands reached the strained fabric of his boxers and pulled it off him. Kirk moaned at the feeling of air on his heavy cock.

“I admit, I have not had sexual intercourse with a male.”

Kirk looked down and met Spock’s eyes. He sat up and pressed a chaste kiss to the Vulcan’s lips. Kirk then pushed Spock onto his back and admired how his green erection laid against his belly. He licked Spock’s full cock from the base to the tip before engulfing the member with his mouth. Kirk could tell Spock was trying to hold back moans, which encouraged Kirk to give Spock the best blowjob of his life. The human swirled his tongue along the shaft and pulled back to pay extra attention to the head. He toyed with the slit before taking Spock again to the hilt. Kirk hallowed out his cheeks and hummed around the pulsing erection. Spock arched up from the bed, but Kirk pushed his hips back down. He smiled as he saw Spock grip the sheets and turn his head to the side. Kirk continued to bob his head up and down, and he almost hollered in victory when he heard Spock release a deep moan. He knew Spock was close, so he let Spock’s penis fall from his mouth and back onto the Vulcan’s belly.

Kirk reached for the nightstand and found a condom and a bottle of lubricant. Spock looked up at from heavy eyelids. He looked utterly debauched and fucked out of his mind, and Kirk loved it. Kirk rolled the condom onto the throbbing organ before he poured some lube onto his fingers. He reached around and pressed a finger into his tight entrance. Kirk hissed in pain and forced himself to relax. He then felt another finger join his. Kirk turned and saw Spock, whose face was right next to his. Kirk nuzzled against the beautiful pale skin and moaned when Spock’s finger grazed his prostate. Spock’s other hand was then on his erection, pumping it experimentally. Spock definitely needed practice, but Kirk was glad Spock was taking the initiative.

“Yeah, just like that, Sweetheart. You’re doing just fine.”

Spock added another finger into Kirk’s opening and stretched him further. When Kirk deemed himself ready, he gently pushed Spock back onto the bed. He aligned himself with Spock’s dick and slowly lowered himself until Spock was fully inside him. Both Spock and Kirk moaned loudly. Kirk loved the feeling of being filled. Kirk placed his hands on Spock’s chest, and Spock placed his hands on Kirk’s hips to steady him. The human lifted himself until only the head of Spock’s penis was inside. He then slammed himself back down, much to Spock’s apparent delight. The Vulcan’s chest was heaving and his eyes were screwed shut.

“Spock.”

Spock forced his eyes open. His eyes were almost entirely black.

“I want to see you. Keep your eyes on me,” Kirk commanded.

Spock nodded in acquiesce and forced himself to comply as Kirk continued in a steady rhythm. Spock returned a hand to Kirk’s cock and pumped with an effective flick of the wrist. Spock might have been a novice at gay sex, but he was a fast and eager learner.

Hot lust and arousal pumped through Kirk’s veins as he found an angle in which Spock’s penis hit his prostate every time. Kirk’s rhythm was beginning to falter as pleasured continued to wash over him. The human almost shouted out in surprise as Spock flipped their bodies over. The Vulcan loomed over him, and Kirk almost came just from the sight itself. Kirk wrapped his legs around his lover’s torso and hooked his ankles together on Spock’s back. Spock’s thrusts were strong and steady, pounding into Kirk’s body with the right amount of force. Kirk rocked his hips in time with Spock’s thrusts, which provided more friction for Kirk’s trapped cock. The human pulled the Vulcan in for a sloppy, heated kiss.

Kirk only lasted a minute longer before his body tensed up and he ejaculated onto their bellies. Spock joined soon after, his lithe body seizing in pleasure. Spock collapsed against Kirk in an exhausted heap. Spock sure was heavy, but Kirk didn’t mind. The Vulcan buried his face into Kirk’s neck and sighed against the human’s warm, sweaty skin.

“Let’s take a shower, hm?” Kirk kissed Spock’s temple.

Spock gently pulled out of his lover's sated body. Spock pushed himself off and helped Kirk out of bed while he disposed of the condom. The couple took their time in the shower, washing each other’s bodies of semen and sweat while kissing wet skin.

Kirk dressed himself in his pajamas, while Spock stood with a towel around his waist.

“Why don’t you stay the night? I’ll lend you a shirt and sweatpants to sleep in.”

Spock nodded. “Thank you.”

As Spock and Kirk made themselves comfortable in bed, Kirk couldn’t but revel in how right this felt, sharing a bed with Spock after a night of great sex. Kirk turned his head to look at Spock to find the Vulcan looking at him with warm chocolate eyes. Spock wrapped an arm around Kirk's body and closed his eyes. 


	17. Chapter 17

Kirk groaned as Amanda’s cries filled the cabin. He immediately turned to Spock and shook his shoulder. Spock rolled out of bed and stumbled to Amanda’s crib, his hair sticking up at interesting angles. He picked her up and lightly patted her bottom and ascertained that she needed a diaper change. He brought her to the changing table and removed her onesie and proceeded to replace her dirty diaper with a fresh one. Amanda calmed down and was soon fast asleep when Spock placed a soft kiss on her cheek. He placed her inside her crib on her back and watched her. She curled a hand into a fist and cooed softly before settling into a comfortable sleeping position. Spock was about to go back to bed, but he felt rooted on the spot. He couldn’t take his eyes off his daughter.

Spock was still in awe of the fact he was a father. After Uhura had terminated their relationship Spock had nearly abandoned his desire for a family. But then Kirk happened. Spock had never felt attracted to a male before Kirk but Kirk’s compassion and intelligence and warmth pulled him in. He was open and honest, sometimes to a fault. This man had exceeded all of his expectations of a lover and a friend, and Spock was not afraid to admit that sex with Kirk was a particularly heady experience. Spock would not end the most satisfying relationship he had had over the fact Kirk was a male, a male who was not capable of becoming pregnant.

But then Kirk told him he was capable of bearing children.

Spock had read several articles about this phenomenon. The mutation was said to have risen between the Eugenic’s Wars of the late twentieth century and the World War III in the mid-twenty-first century, both of which caused the deaths of millions of humans. Some scientists have theorized that the mutation came to be as a direct result of the Eugenics Movement and the known intermarriage between Augments and average humans. Others have argued that human males capable of birthing young was the next evolutionary step. No matter what the cause, a small percentage of the male population were born with female reproductive organs as well as male. Most of these men never utilized their bodies for bearing children, but the gene was still passed on by mating with a woman. As decades and centuries passed, there were more instances of men becoming pregnant and successfully giving birth. It became socially accepted and normal, and it gave some homosexual couples the means to have children.

After Kirk told him, the couple hadn’t spoken further on the subject. There was no need. Their relationship was still new and there was no need to think about having children when commanding a starship was their first priority for the unforeseeable future.

Until Kirk became pregnant with his child months later. Spock and Kirk had taken the necessary precautions such as condoms and birth control hypos, but no form of birth control is as effective as abstinence. But they could not keep their hands off each other. Kirk’s scent, Kirk’s sweat, Kirk’s smile were enough to set a fire deep in Spock’s belly. A fire that never died down.

Spock reached down to trace Amanda’s slanted eyebrows and one of her pointed ears. Her skin was soft, perfect, brand new. Spock wanted to pick her up and hold her against his chest to feel her breathe and move against him, but he did not wish to disturb her. He felt a swell of happiness in his chest to see his daughter warm and healthy. Especially after it was not certain whether or not the pregnancy would be able to continue for the sake of Kirk’s health.

Spock almost jumped when he felt an arm around his waist. He turned to see Kirk’s smiling, tired face. The human had two days’ worth of stubble on his face and his hair was in disarray. Spock found his mate quite attractive. He mirrored Kirk’s action and secured an arm around his waist before giving Kirk an affectionate kiss.

“Admiring the fruit of our loins again, Spock?” Kirk’s voice was thick and hoarse.

Spock raised an eyebrow at Kirk’s somewhat strange yet factual description of their daughter.

“I was verifying the health status of our daughter, Jim.”

Kirk grinned, seeing through Spock’s answer.

“She’s beautiful, isn’t she?”

The physical appearance of a person was not important to Vulcans, who placed greater importance on a person’s character, deeds, and intelligence. However, Spock could not deny Amanda would be considered beautiful by the standards of many different alien races.

“It seems she has inherited our most appealing attributes.”

One of which, was the color of Kirk’s striking eyes. Spock had been delighted to see that even though Amanda overwhelmingly expressed the genes she inherited from Spock, Spock could still see Kirk in their daughter.

Spock nuzzled his face against Kirk’s, greedily inhaling his mate’s enticing scent. He pulled Kirk in for an embrace, needing to touch him. Spock felt the human’s smile pressed into his skin. The Vulcan shivered, not being able to contain his arousal. He brought a hand between their bodies and pressed his hand against Kirk’s soft belly. Kirk, who took pride in building and sculpting his body, had been self-conscious of his post-pregnancy figure but Spock remedied his insecurities by reminding him how powerful and strong he was for creating and giving life. That, and several nights of kissing and caressing plump, ample flesh.

“Come back to bed, Spock. Let’s get some sleep.” Kirk pulled back to kiss his husband.

Spock took a calming breath and willed his arousal away. Kirk was still healing from the birth and needed his sleep. They took one last look at Amanda’s peaceful form before getting into bed, bodies intrinsically linked.     

A few weeks later Kirk and Spock resumed command of the _Enterprise_. Kirk had lost the majority of the weight he had gained over the pregnancy, and he was deemed fit for duty. Amanda was under the care of a professional caretaker, the very best credits could hire. Throughout the day, if time allowed, they would visit Amanda and talk to her and read to her. Kirk read to her from his favorite books while Spock spoke to her in Vulcan to ensure she would be bilingual. Amanda was a perfectly happy and healthy baby, much to the delight of her parents. Her smile was so infectious Spock couldn’t help but smile back, which made Amanda smile even more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter may take a while to post due to homework and chapter planning/writing. Thank you for reading.


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